


Private Parts

by Seyary_Minamoto



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki says he doesn't like it but we know otherwise, Sif keeps punching Loki in the heart in his pity parties, Sifmom and Dadki to be, Smut and Fluff and Angst, and causes disasters beyond his comprehension, it's a sport to her, or a fic that tries to exploit all the sifki hints dropped all over the MCU, she ruins them, strictly in that order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seyary_Minamoto/pseuds/Seyary_Minamoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Sif have carried out a secret relationship through the centuries, but it's put to the test by the ordeals they face after Thor's failed coronation. </p><p>After believing she has lost Loki not only once, but twice, Sif discovers the truth behind who sits the Asgardian throne. The years of hiding their love from the Nine Realms threaten to crumble to dust unless Loki takes a step forward to amend what has been broken between them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He drifted back into consciousness slowly, but his lingering exhaustion didn’t allow him to open his eyes yet. He grew aware of his surroundings, basking in the feel of his silk sheets grazing his bare skin as softly as a whisper, although that wasn’t the most pleasant sensation he had woken up to. The recollection of the previous night’s happenings gave him enough strength to lift his eyelids, because no matter how tired he was, he couldn’t miss out on the sight of his dormant lover resting atop him.

A small smirk spread over his features as he took in the scene’s every detail. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, her head was resting on his chest and her legs were intertwined with his underneath the sheets. Her long, dark hair was cascading down her back in an elegant disarray, one amongst several of Lady Sif’s many contradictions which he had come to love throughout the years he had known Asgard’s finest warrior. It wasn’t the first time they had shared his bed, and Loki was certain it wouldn’t be the last, but witnessing Sif in her sleep was actually the most unusual sight. In most circumstances he would wake to find her ready to take her leave in order to keep up appearances, or perhaps there would be a mission she had to attend to right away, and thus he would hardly ever be granted the chance to wake up beside her. The ghostly thought of asking her to stay with him for a while longer would always linger in his mind, but his pride would keep him from admitting out loud just how much he enjoyed her presence. Yet given the way she would always smile and kiss him goodbye, Loki suspected she already understood the thoughts he had kept secret over the centuries they had known each other.

But on this bright Asgardian morning he had woken to find he was still holding her closely against him. He allowed his smile to widen and he lifted his right hand towards her raven hair, caressing it in the most gentle manner as to avoid waking her.

He could have watched her all day, but he wouldn’t have the opportunity to do so. Despite the kindness of Loki’s gestures, Sif came to her senses as soon as Loki’s hand had started to play with her hair. She had pressed her eyelids tightly together for a moment before bringing herself to open them, to find her surroundings were a daze for her. It wasn’t until she found Loki’s smirk that everything started to become clearer both for her mind and her eyesight.

“I trust you had a good night’s sleep, Lady Sif,” Loki whispered, his smile widening even further.

“I shall not deny its quality,” Sif replied. “What I’m not certain of is the amount of sleep we had.”

Loki bared his teeth with a low chuckle, and his hand slid from Sif’s hair towards her jawline. He caressed her skin with his slender fingers before leaning down to press his lips against hers. As expected, she returned his affections as enthusiastically as her exhaustion would allow. The hand on her face cupped her cheek, and the arm surrounding her waist brought her even closer to him. Sif sighed into the kiss, a smile forming on her lips as she realized what this exchange would bring them to shortly.

“You seem rather keen to carry on with what we started last night, Silvertongue…” she whispered, parting their lips for a moment to steal a peek into his eyes.

“Ah, but I rather doubt I am the only one who feels this way,” replied Loki, surrounding her with his arms and leaning in to kiss her again, pushing her to the side and placing himself atop her as he did.

Sif’s hands went to Loki’s chest at first before she began caressing his body with her rough fingertips. He wasn’t as built as the other Asgardian warriors, but underneath that seemingly lanky exterior hid a stronger man than it seemed on first impressions, a man Sif could never get enough of. Loki’s kiss grew fiercer, in that way Sif enjoyed so much, and he nibbled on her lower lip softly before sliding his tongue into her mouth as soon as he found an opening.

Sif would have smiled, but he kept her mouth so busy that she could hardly move to do anything but return the kiss. Loki usually was helpless against her in any physical struggle, but in bed she was more than willing to grant him victory. Because as she lay underneath him, she wasn’t Asgard’s shield maiden, she wasn’t the mightiest warrior of the realm. Those were titles she wore with pride above all else, but when she was with him she didn’t need to prove herself. She could be Sif, and she needn’t be anyone else. And the same applied for Loki.

His careful hands traveled over her bare body, the tips of his slender fingers grazing her skin gently and sending shivers down her spine as they did. Oh, she hated just how easy it was for him to tease her… she couldn’t resist him, and he knew just how to exploit that. He kept her mouth engaged with his own, rendering her unable to utter anything but moans into him. As the urgency of her sounds increased, Loki withdrew himself and smiled in that mischievous way that Sif loved and hated at once. Her chest heaved and he eyed her with narrow eyes, thrilled over being the man who brought forth these reactions from the great Lady Sif.

He leaned down towards her ear and nibbled on her earlobe gently, causing the warrior to gasp for breath. He sent even more pleasant tingles down her body when he whispered in a low voice:

“I love to make you come undone.”

Sif’s eyes snapped wide open for the first time in the day. Oh, how easy it was for him to aggravate her. Why did he always know the right thing to say to rile her up? She didn’t come undone, not to him or to anyone else who might dare try to challenge her…!

Or so she wished she could say, but the hands on her breasts kept her from uttering a word, and his mouth traced a gentle line all the way to her neck, which he was currently teasing by kissing it in that unique manner of his. All her attempts to convey her thoughts were lost as she bit her lower lip in an attempt to muffle the sounds that wanted to escape from her throat. Loki was taking over all her senses at once with hardly any efforts, caressing her softly with both his mouth and hands, yet even though the contact was a subtle as it could be, Sif couldn’t stop struggling for breath. Her heart raced wildly in her chest, and given that his hands cupped both her breasts, he surely must have taken notice of it. She wished he hadn’t. She wished she could conceal the way he made her feel, the pleasure she obtained whenever he made her his. But her body’s reactions betrayed her each time, and her pride wasn’t large enough to shield her. She couldn’t hide from Loki. He saw her for who she truly was, for better or for worse.

And could she see him for who he truly was? There were a number of matters she knew he couldn’t lie about, no matter how skilled he was in his deceptive arts. Yet there was so much more to Loki than what lay on the surface… did she see him as clearly as he saw her? And if she didn’t right now, would she ever do so?

The question faded from her mind as his lips made their way to her collarbone, and her hands reached into his hair, sliding her fingers between those soft, black locks. She pressed him down on her, asking nonverbally for him to cease his mockery. Again he smiled, and again he devoted himself to pleasing her with his mouth, an activity he was proud to excel at. Sif threw her head back into the pillow, lost in the blissful pleasure born from the fire he was lighting on her skin with his every touch. His hands had slid down towards her waist slowly, taking his time to caress her legs before moving towards her inner thighs.

She couldn’t muffle her moans now. Her legs shivered as he stroked them, asking for permission to move in towards her core. Her response was to press Loki’s face against her chest, and he took her answer to be a positive one. With another smirk, his slender fingers closed the distance that kept him from his goal; if her moans and gestures hadn’t been proof of what she wanted, the way she opened her legs for him certainly got the message across quite clearly.

The sounds she was uttering grew shriller as his fingers slid through her folds. If only they hadn’t been together for centuries now, she would have felt slightly ashamed of how ready she was. But after all these years of enjoying their secret affair, there was no reason for her to feel that way. He had embraced everything about her ever since they were children, and that hadn’t changed after all this time. She truly hoped it never would.

“Loki…” she whispered, gasping. “No more… no more teasing.”

“And I thought you were enjoying yourself, Lady Sif,” said Loki, pushing himself up with a single hand as the other continued working her steadily. “Your body seems to be quite fond of me, given this response…”

“You fool, I meant to say… do it now. I can’t take it…” she managed to utter before a wave of pleasure washed over her and forced her to forget all her intentions of speaking.

“You must jest,” said Loki, his voice coated with irony. If Sif hadn’t been as incapacitated by her own pleasure she would have punched him for torturing her in such cruel manner. “I believed Lady Sif had been trained to overcome any difficulties.”

“Loki…” she grunted dangerously, her eyes presenting him with a glare cold enough to make him recoil.

“Why… I never meant to anger you so, my Lady,” he said, between chuckles as he withdrew his hand. “Will you allow me to make amends for my wrongdoings?”

“Do it in the way you’re expected to, and perhaps I’ll think about forgiving you,” she said, wrapping her legs around his waist. “Get on with it, Loki, unless you’d rather I take over.”

“No need for that, my lady,” said the Asgardian Prince, smiling at her as he placed his shaft in her opening. Sif took a deep breath and waited for the penetration as patiently as possible, wondering if he really was taking longer than expected just to tease her, or if her perception of time was growing distorted.

When he finally plunged into her she was filled with a sense of satisfaction that was only a small sample of what was yet to come. The friction between them created sparks that traveled all over her body, numbing her to everything but the pleasure she was obtaining through him. Her hands went back to his hair as he brought their hips together in painfully slow motions, still unwilling to provide the roughness her entire being yearned for.

“Loki, for all you hold dear, just…!” she exclaimed, her face distorted in a grimace.

Loki couldn’t help but chuckle before finally deciding to give in to her pleas. He thrusted more deeply into her as his arms went to either side of her body, trying to hold her in an embrace as he continued grinding their bodies together. His mouth went down on hers again, and despite of how bitter she had seemed just a moment earlier, she kissed him so feverishly he was unexpectedly at a loss against her for a moment. His hips continued rolling into hers, but now she was meeting his thrusts with her own. Her hands went to his back, locking him in her arms as she begged him silently not to stop. And he didn’t.

Sif had to interrupt the kiss in order to regain her breath, but as soon as she did she was assaulted by the highest forms of pleasure she would experience when she was with him. Her mouth went to his shoulder and, despite how he hissed in mild complaint, she dug her teeth into his skin as his length crashed against her most sensitive areas. She couldn’t last much longer at this rate… it didn’t matter that she was Lady Sif, that she could withstand battles against the most vicious creatures of the Nine Realms, she couldn’t find the strength within herself to make a stand against Loki.

And as her orgasm shook her, she felt pleased that, out of all the battles she might lose, she’d be losing against him. Who knew that failing to win could feel so wonderfully? Her nails dug into his body as well, and she found herself lifting her hips in order to feel him inside her in all the right places at once.

Loki as well found himself unable to hold on for much longer. He hugged her tightly, burying his face in her neck as he thrust into her a few more times, because it was all he had needed to find his own release. His breath came in gasps in her ear, and Sif allowed herself to moan a few more times as he continued thrusting, giving her everything he still had left. He was actually amazed he still had anything in him, considering they had spent the entire night repeating this very deed time over and time again until they both had fallen asleep.

Loki panted heavily, his face still pressed against her skin. Sif’s hand slid towards his hair again, caressing softly the scratch marks she had left over his back throughout their encounter. Ever since their affair had begun, his back would bear the evidence of the activity that went down in his room or hers whenever they had the chance to steal a moment with the other. Sif had branded him with injuries and scars ever since they were children, her ruthlessness during training sessions was such that she had sent both Thor and Loki into Eir’s healing chamber several times, while getting away from the fights unscathed. Granted that it hadn’t happened as often with Thor, Loki would always be the one to bear the worse wounds. He would always claim that those injuries had come from the fiercest warrior of the realm, and thus he wore them proudly… but Sif knew that the scars he was most proud about where those she had left across his back, with no other weapons but her nails. They were unique scars, that she had never given to another man before him, and she deeply hoped there would never be another man for her after him either.

Loki rolled over to the side again shortly afterwards, his chest still heaving. He watched Sif breathe slowly as she tried to appease her body. The rush of energy after what they had just enjoyed was exhilarating. She definitely didn’t feel drowsy anymore.

She turned her head towards him and gave him an almost shy grin. Loki replied with one of his own, taking her by the waist and bringing her closer to him as he did, their foreheads linked as they enjoyed their intimacy fully.

“Did I provide what you required, my lady?” asked Loki, his voice as mischievous as ever.

“You know the answer to that question already, Loki,” replied Sif, her smile growing as she closed her eyes and caressed his chest with her hands. “You needn’t even ask.”

“I always want to make sure your needs have been quenched, you know that well enough,” said Loki.

“Or perhaps you merely wish to bask in the pride of being such a skilled lover,” said Sif, matter-of-factly.

“How dare you accuse me of such arrogance?” asked Loki, sarcastically.

“I fear I know you better than you ever believed I did,” said Sif, smirking.

Loki chuckled and caressed her hair gently.

“Truly, you have always been able to see what nobody else cares to see.”

“I would deem everyone else a fool for taking you to be only the troublemaking magician you are,” said Sif, tracing circles on his chest with her finger. “Yet the selfish part of me would rather keep these other sides of you to myself.”

“They shall always belong to you, and you alone,” said Loki, closing his eyes and smiling sincerely, an unusual sight to glimpse on his face.

Sif’s heart seemed to grow wilder again, but this time it wasn’t caused by sexual arousal. She leaned in and kissed him, not knowing a better answer to provide to his words. He returned the kiss with kindness, holding her close to him by sliding his hand to the back of her neck, ensuring the contact would last for as long as possible. It didn’t matter how many times they had kissed before… it was never enough. It could never be enough, for either of them.

Her arms went around his waist, their chests pressing together now. Loki’s tongue found its way into her mouth as it always did, and she gave herself up completely to his caresses. Fighting for dominance was always fun, but after a while all she wanted to do was submit to him and let him have his way with her. That was just as fun as going against him.

Her immediate surrender brought a smile to Loki’s face as he continued with his endeavors. He knew that Sif would only quit trying to dominate him when she was more keen to enjoy the pleasure he could provide for her. The thought brought memories of the first time they had kissed…

She had been the one to make the first advance. He had been paralyzed when her lips had pressed nervously against his, driven by her curiosity to discover what kissing felt like, and to make certain he would not lose his interest in her. For the longest time Loki had been afraid Sif would grow bored of him and start spending most her time with Thor instead, given how most everyone would choose Thor over him without a second thought. Yet when she kissed him, he knew she had never kissed his brother before. And in order to keep her from ever doing so, he had trapped her shoulders in his hands when she pulled away, bashful. His own nervousness had almost driven him into retreating cowardly, but he had known that his performance in that moment would likely determine the future of his potential relationship with Sif. And thus he had kissed her again, putting all his efforts into the action while trying to keep his hands from shaking as he held her. To his relief, he had turned out to be better at it than he ever thought he would be, as Sif commented on how pleasant it was, after exchanging more kisses, after crossing the limits of the friendship they had shared ever since they had first met.

They had come a long way since that fateful day, centuries ago. No longer did he shiver as he brought their lips together, but that didn’t mean the exhilarating sensation of being the man she had chosen, of being deemed worthy of her by none other than Lady Sif herself, had faded away with time. It merely meant they both had grown to feel completely comfortable around the other, they didn’t need to fear making mistakes of any kind. They were at complete ease, there was no need to pretend or to prove anything. Loki was known for his dishonesty, but when it was only the two of them, he felt no need to lie to protect himself. If he ever did, it was merely to rouse her, to taunt her into an argument for the sake of his amusement. She always sensed his intentions, but she couldn’t refrain from retorting whenever he sent his mischievous words her way. Perhaps she simply didn’t want to refrain altogether.

Their lips parted when the urge to breathe was too strong to resist it anymore. Nevertheless, they hardly separated from each other, their lips still in contact as their chests heaved.

“That was not the wisest way to recover after what we last did,” whispered Loki, chuckling.

“Why, is the Trickster worn out already…?” asked Sif, smirking.

“No man in the Nine Realms would be able to keep up with you, my lady,” replied Loki, making her laugh.

“Such hollow flattery…” she said, kissing the tip of his nose before nuzzling against his shoulder.

“Hollow? My dearest Sif, I may lie on occasion, but I assure you I was being truthful just now,” he said, his hand slipping through her dark hair as his fingers massaged her head gently.

“On occasion?” Sif repeated in disbelief. “Saying you lie on occasion is but another lie, Loki.”

“I get no quarter from you, do I?” he asked, chuckling and burying his face in her hair.

“I was certain that was something you liked about me, Loki,” said the warrior, seeking to take the upper hand in their exchange.

“And you are not mistaken,” Loki replied, kissing her softly. “I have a hard time finding anything I don’t like about you, Sif. So far the count is nil.”

“Is that so?” she asked, relieved that he wouldn’t be able to see the blush on her features.

“I shall make sure to inform you if something ever comes to mind, but rest assured. I rather doubt it will happen,” said Loki, stroking her hair kindly.

“I’m pleased to know so,” said Sif, sighing blissfully. Indeed, it was just what she had thought of earlier. Nothing compared to being prized by him in this manner, absolutely nothing.

They held each other silently for a while, finally growing calm after the passionate moment they had shared when they had woken up. Sif grew mesmerized by the sound of his beating heart, wishing she could stay close to him, just like this, for as long as possible…

“We actually should stay in bed all day,” said Loki, making her roll her eyes.

“Reading minds again, are we?” she grunted.

“Oh, I didn’t have to use any magic to realize what you were thinking of,” said Loki, smirking. “I was only trying to guess what was on your mind, and given your response, it seems I was correct in my assumption.”

“So instead of reading my mind, you outsmarted me?” asked Sif, narrowing her eyes.

“I would never even dream of such a thing,” said Loki, again sarcastically. Sif shook her head in disbelief but nuzzled against him anyways.

“Leaving that thought aside, though… I don’t believe spending the entire day in bed is a good idea, despite how promising a perspective it is,” she sighed.

“Why not?” asked Loki, despite fully knowing the reasoning behind her statement.

“It’s been centuries since we’ve been together, Loki. Do you truly wish to reveal our relationship by being caught with me between your arms?”

“That sounds like a good idea to me,” he teased, and she rolled her eyes.

“Is it really? So you won’t mind if your servants come by, or perhaps your mother or father, or even Th-...”

Loki was surprised when she stopped talking, as if she were completely unable to utter his brother’s name. He lifted his head to look at her, confused.

“Sif? Is something the matter?”

The eyes of the warrior had snapped open wide as a heavy realization dawned upon her. She suddenly sat up in bed, the covers rolling off her bare torso, and she looked at Loki with horrified eyes.

“L-Loki… it’s your brother’s coronation day!” she said, a hand going to her forehead.

The realization brought forth bitterness in Loki’s chest. That was definitely something he didn’t wish to think about. Thor’s big day… yes, he had forgotten all about it. Sif’s visit for the night had actually served several purposes, and one of them had been to bring him to forget Thor’s ceremony. Sif herself had been the one to insist she would erase all his thoughts about the occasion, and she had achieved complete success.

“Right…” he whispered, sitting up as well and nodding. “We need to get ready.”

Sif was aghast after her realization, but now she was completely shocked. She stared at Loki in complete confusion, wondering what had happened to his intent of staying in bed all day, and his distaste for Thor’s ceremony… why did he seem so eager to attend it? Because even if he wasn’t grinning and hopping in joy upon the idea of attending the coronation, he normally would have protested a lot more over having to attend such tedious celebration.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Sif?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Wha-...? Why does it seem you’re fine with this, Loki?” she asked, frowning. “It’s most unlike you.”

“If I complain, you’re bothered. If I comply, you’re bothered. Is there any chance you’ll ever be satisfied with my reactions?” he asked, climbing off the mattress swiftly.

“If you waste the day away complaining I shall be bothered indeed,” said Sif, following him off the bed. “But for you to accept what must be done without putting up excuses… did I do something to soften you last night and I don’t recall it anymore?”

Loki couldn’t hold back his bark of laughter as he walked through his room towards his closet. Sif smirked at his reaction and allowed herself to enjoy the view now that he was with his back towards her. People disregarded Loki’s build, believing he was thin and lanky merely because he wasn’t as buff as his older brother, but this didn’t mean Loki should envy Thor in those regards. Sif smirked as she eyed his shoulderblades, and her eyes ran through his back all the way to his firm and flawless bottom. To think it was all hers… she shook her head and decided to focus on the situation at hand, knowing she would have many other opportunities to gaze at his body afterwards. She leant down to pick up her clothes, and the Prince frowned when he caught sight of what she was doing.

“Sif… you don’t need to wear the same clothes you came in,” he said, “I thought you knew by now that I have spare garbs for you right here.”

“I know you do,” said Sif, rummaging through her discarded clothing. “I’m only searching for my ribbon. It should be here somewhere.”

Sif had dropped her gaze, and thus she missed the devilish smirk that spread over Loki’s features. Nevertheless, it didn’t take her long to realize he had been involved in the disappearance of the item she was looking for.

“I took it off quite hurriedly last night, if I recall correctly,” said Loki, feigning innocence. “I’m not certain where it might have wound up at.”

That alone was enough to clear Sif’s suspicions. She leered at him as he placed her clothes in the bed and proceeded to fetch his own.

“Is that so, Liesmith?” she said, with as much venom in her voice as possible. Loki was astounded by the harshness of her tone.

“Why so upset, my lady?” he asked, no longer pretending to ignore where the ribbon might be, but rather eager to change the subject. “Was it a prized possession of yours?”

“Does it matter if it was or wasn’t?” asked Sif, standing up and unfolding the garments she would get dressed in shortly. “If your memory is failing you, perhaps I ought to remind you I usually tie my hair.”

“I must have grown used to the way it looks whenever we have our encounters,” said Loki, still smirking. “You should know that having your hair down rather suits you.”

“I’m certain you believe so, because that’s just the way I have it whenever we’re behind closed doors,” said Sif, still mildly irritated. “But perhaps that should remain a sight only for your eyes to see.”

“Why is that? Unwilling to share your beauty with the rest of Asgard?” he asked, teasingly. He approached her, surrounding her waist with his arms seductively. “Are you afraid to outshine every other maiden in the room?”

“I care not for such matters, and I believed you knew that by now,” said Sif, rolling her eyes.

“They are quite fortunate that you don’t,” said Loki, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Or else they would be truly upset when all men gaze upon you while they ignore them.”

“And all those men would be quite disappointed in turn when I ignore them in order to spend the evening with none other than the Trickster,” replied Sif, her head dropping on his shoulder as her lips went to his neck.

Loki closed his eyes and tried to keep calm as she caressed his skin softly with her mouth. She made to give him an open kiss, but instead she decided to attack his neck with her teeth. Loki’s smirk widened as he enjoyed the roughness Sif would always know how to deliver to him.

“Will you give me back my ribbon, Loki?” she whispered seductively into his neck.

Loki’s head tilted sideways, allowing her to continue carrying out her attempts to coax the location of the ribbon, but determined to refuse her advances regardless. It was too much fun to continue teasing her, to find out what she was capable of in order to get what she wanted.

“Why… no, I don’t think I will,” he said, anticipating a violent response from his lover.

Sif  withdrew from his neck and glared at him before shaking her head. Loki was quite surprised to see she wouldn’t carry on forcing him to surrender the location of the ribbon through her alluring ways.

“If I catch you staring at me in  the middle of the ceremony just because my hair is down, I’ll make you regret it,” she grunted, slipping off his grip and picking up her clothes. “We haven’t been so stealthy through all these years for you to ruin everything in the middle of your brother’s coronation.”

“It sounds like a rather wonderful plan, in my opinion,” he said, frowning. Why hadn’t he thought about that before? It sure wouldn’t have been such a hassle to ruin his brother’s coronation by revealing his relationship with Sif… but he had planned something very different, and despite this seemed to be a better idea, he preferred to keep it for any future occasions. Perhaps he would ruin Thor’s second coronation ceremony… or his wedding celebration, even.

The thought of Thor marrying sent cold shivers down his spine. That was definitely something he didn’t want to see happen anytime soon. His father had made quite clear what his intentions were regarding who should be Thor’s queen… and Loki would never approve of them. It didn’t matter that Thor didn’t seem to look at Sif as anything but a good friend and reliable partner in battle, Loki knew that he wouldn’t protest if he were to be married to Sif. She was one of his best friends after all. It wouldn’t be as bad as to marry a stranger…

But Loki was the one Sif had chosen. He was the one who had shared his bed with her almost every night for centuries on end, the one she gazed at with those eyes that spoke what she didn’t say with words. Thor might be one of her best friends… but her relationship with Loki had always been so much more than that. And to that thought he would cling forevermore, in hopes the woman he held so dear would never be stolen from him. It didn’t matter if he knew Thor would be a good husband to Sif, the thought of her being with another man, whoever it might be, was unbearable.

“And why is it such a dreadful thing for our romance to be discovered?” he asked, taking her clothes from her and cladding her with them, to Sif’s surprise and approval.

“I believed you knew that by now, Loki,” she muttered, helping him with her armor laces.

“Oh, I do,” said Loki, sighing. “Married life is not for the finest warrior of the realm. Women are expected to fulfill a role once they pledge themselves to a man… and even more so if you were to pledge to a Prince, of all things. The life you’ve always sought for yourself involves blades and battles, not fine silks and ballroom etiquette.”

“I know my ballroom etiquette well enough, Loki,” said Sif, smirking as they finished dressing her.

“Of course you do, my lady,” he said, smiling. “But you have seen the life my mother leads. A sorceress and warrior as she is, yet she never has an opportunity to put her skills to the test. I wouldn’t want to impose such a life on you. If you ever choose it… then I’d rather you do so by your own free will.”

“So you won’t reveal us to the world just yet?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You will be the one to decide that, Sif,” said Loki, kissing her brow. “I have no say upon the matter.”

“Loki, you ALWAYS have a say upon every matter,” said Sif, making him chuckle.

“I suppose I do,” he said, caressing her hair. “Now… if you’re going like this, I might as well help you fix it so it’s not obvious you were engaged in bedroom activities with me.”

“With you?” asked Sif, smirking. “Just by the fact that my hair is disheveled people would guess it would have been because of you…?”

“I would hope so,” said Loki, smiling. “I believe my good mood might give me away as your fortunate partner.”

“Then by all means, brush my hair,” said Sif, narrowing her eyes. “So that it might seem you were the one to make yourself happy.”

“Your words wound me, Sif,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief as Sif giggled, the most unusual sound to hear from her. “Nevertheless, you won’t convince me of tying your hair. Now, more than ever, you’ll keep it down. You’re not getting your ribbon back after that.”

“So spiteful,” said Sif, teasingly.

Loki walked away towards a dresser, rummaging through the drawers in search for a hairbrush. He opened most the cabinets, taking out their content as he tried to find what he was seeking for.

“I must have misplaced it” he said, surprised. He walked towards the closet again, and Sif followed him with her gaze before returning towards the now messy dresser.

Her lips curled into a smirk when she caught sight of a shiny, silver dagger sticking out of one drawer. It was one of Loki’s favorite weapons. He never was one for wielding large blades, and he was quite skilled with smaller knives. Whenever he defeated her in the battlefield, it would be because of one of his many daggers.

But this one was a dagger she had seen him bear many times now. It was quite precious to him, albeit she didn’t know why. Perhaps his mother had given it to him…? Sif had no idea, but she didn’t need to know. All she needed was a hostage. If Loki was going to play dirty with her, as he always did, then perhaps it was time she did the same.

She snuck towards his dresser as carelessly as she could, pretending to search for the hairbrush as well. When she turned away she took the dagger by its handle and placed it within the leather folds of her armor, concealing it from sight completely. Her heart raced in expectation, thrilled at being the one to trick Loki this time around.

“Ah, there it was,” said the Prince, making her jump nervously. She needed to calm down in order to make this work…

Loki came back from the closet with his hairbrush at last, and he prompted Sif to turn around as he took care of untangling the locks of her hair. Sif would always brush her hair brusquely, pulling all of it back as quickly as she could for the sole sake of getting the matter of tying her hair out of the way. But Loki would always take his time whenever he brushed her locks of dark hair. He found pleasure in the activity, it seemed, and Sif enjoyed the feel of his fingers treading along her head softly. Everything he did, he did with such care it would never cease to amaze her. In the word they lived in, most men were crude, they knew nothing of gentleness. She was used to that, but no matter how many years went by, she’d never grow accustomed to Loki’s ways.

She sighed in bliss as he continued dragging the brush over her scalp, and she didn’t miss the way he sniffed at her hair when he took a strand into his hand. She smirked and turned around, leaving him with his hand still raised and looking mildly disappointed.

“I regret having to stop you, but at this rate you will waste the day away by brushing my hair,” she said.

“That would be no waste at all, my lady,” said Loki, smirking back at her.

“I beg to differ,” she said, chuckling as she took his leathers in her hand. “Shall we fix you up now, then? I’m ready, it’s your turn now…”

Loki smiled at first, but a shadow crossed over his face as he pondered her question. Again, Sif sensed he was hiding something from her, and she was completely certain of it when Loki declined her offer.

“In order to preserve our secrecy, Sif… it would be best if you took off now,” he whispered, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.

“And why is that?” asked Sif, staring at him warily. She never had any difficulties in sensing Loki was keeping secrets from her… the true problem was to figure out what they were. Sadly, she only ever seemed to unravel them when it was already too late.

“The day is gaining on us, and it is truly a wonder nobody has come to look for me just yet. Someone is bound to come for me soon, Sif, and they’d best not find you here with me,” said Loki, caressing her hair gently again.

The idea of parting would never fail to dampen her mood. Even when she knew they would meet again shortly, she never knew when they would find the opportunity to be together again in private. Before the rest of Asgard, they would behave cordially and even distrustful of one another, in order to conceal the true nature of their relationship. Even so, Sif would refrain from joining the Warriors Three… well, actually, merely Fandral and Volstagg, whenever they would tease and mock Loki. To keep up appearances she would speak of him as if she trusted him as little as they did, but behind closed doors she would let go of all reserves and tell Loki all about how she had broken Fandral’s arm during training for making fun of Loki’s knack for sorcery. Fandral had never known there had been a secret reason as to why he had sustained his injury, but he had always wondered why Sif had been so harsh during training that day.

Nevertheless, she had never revealed the true intent behind some of her most violent bouts of training against her friends. Thor was the only one she wouldn’t injure if he were to speak ill of Loki, but that was mostly because Thor would do so in front of Loki, and Loki would always retort with something so vicious his brother would only laugh the matter off in the end. She suspected that the lack of violent action she took towards Odin’s firstborn was the reason why people would often believe she sought to pursue a love affair with him. Gossipers had never been more wrong.

But just as he had said earlier, she didn’t wish to demonstrate just how off-base they were. At least… not yet. She believed the day would come when she would be ready to unveil the love affair she had been sharing with Loki for such a long time. But that day was definitely not to be Thor’s Coronation day. Nothing could be as catastrophic as being caught in Loki’s room while he was still completely naked.

“At times I consider letting them find out,” said Sif, dropping her head on his shoulder. “It would be easier than hiding it all the time.”

“But it can’t be done,” said Loki, sighing as he embraced her even though her armor made the motion quite uncomfortable for him. “Do not worry, my lady. We’ll be together again soon.”

“After the ceremony?” asked Sif, smiling weakly.

“Yes, once those fools are too drunk to notice you're gone” he said. “My disappearance will surprise nobody, it never has. Yours, on the other hand, would have to wait.”

“It seems a good plan,” said Sif. “I already expect that moment eagerly.”

Loki beamed and drew her hair out of the way before leaning into another kiss. Sif closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment to the fullest, wishing it would never come to an end…

But the Prince pulled away quickly, that dark shadow appearing over his face once more. He rubbed her neck with his hand and kissed her brow one last time.

“Go now, Sif. We’ll meet again shortly,” he whispered.

She pecked at his lips one last time before giving him a crooked smile. She turned around and reached towards the door, glancing at him once again before giving her full attention to the hallway outside. She closed her eyes, listening intently in order to ensure the way was clear, and when she heard no footsteps she finally walked outside the room, giving Loki one last grin before doing so.

Her smile turned into a smirk as she closed the door, feeling the weight of the stolen dagger on her waist. He hadn’t realized she had taken it, had he? Because if he had, she’d be the one playing into his hand again… but would he truly risk it? Would he relinquish his dagger so easily? No, of course not. She knew as much. The weapon was hers now, and she would make as much use of it as she could. Who knew what sort of things she could make Loki do in order to get his dagger back…?

She turned around in the hallway, her eyes low as she smiled to herself, proud of her achievement… until she realized she wasn’t alone in the hallway anymore.

Frigga stood not even ten feet away from her, watching her intently.

The color drained from her face as her smile vanished completely. After all her stealth, all her attempts to avoid getting caught, after leaving Loki’s room despite not wanting to, in order to conceal their relationship… and now she was caught right outside his room by none other than the Queen herself. Such ill fortune…

“Lady Sif?” asked Frigga, smiling kindly at the aghast warrior. “I’m surprised to find you here so early. I believed you would be getting ready for the ceremony.”

“I, uh… I decided to come by early, my Queen,” said Sif, refusing to meet Frigga’s gaze. “I will return to my chambers shortly. I was merely ensuring that everything would proceed smoothly during Thor’s coronation.”

“I should take that to mean you’ve come in order to ensure Loki won’t ruin the ceremony,” said Frigga, smiling sympathetically. “Were you waking him? I was not aware that you knew of his bad habit to oversleep.”

“I have… I have known your son for a very long time,” said Sif, her face reddening now as she sought to cover up the reason why she knew Loki’s sleeping habits far better than his mother did. “He tends to come late to appointments because he would rather spend the night reading and sleep in the morning.”

“Of course,” said Frigga. “You are a most reliable friend to Loki. It pleases me he has found such an ally in you, Lady Sif.”

“I… thank you, my Queen,” said Sif, willing her blood to quit betraying her. At this rate, Frigga would have no trouble figuring out the true reason why she had been in Loki’s room. “I am only watching out for our future King.”

“Oh, I should not forget that. You are a good friend to both my sons,” said Frigga, beaming. “Then you have woken him already? He tends to be quite difficult in the mornings.”

“It wasn’t… it wasn’t a problem,” said Sif. “Loki fears my wrath too much to dare fight me off even in the mornings.”

“Why, your intimidation of him surely comes in handy,” said the Queen, laughing cheerfully. “I appreciate what you did very much, Lady Sif. You have spared me from quite the troublesome feat.”

“It was my… pleasure,” Sif whispered, trying not to betray just how much of a pleasure it truly had been. That was just a generic answer, no more than that… but in this situation, she couldn’t bring herself to believe that. And she feared Frigga wouldn’t either.

“Was it?” asked Frigga, raising her eyebrows as she walked towards the door that led into Loki’s room. “That is rather surprising.”

The color in Sif’s face only grew more intense upon the Queen’s response. Luckily, Frigga wasn’t looking at her anymore, so she missed the flush on her face.

“I mean… it was a pleasure to… to keep you from taking upon such unpleasant task,” Sif spouted, nervously.

Frigga laughed and nodded, smiling at Sif before turning the doorknob.

“Certainly, it must have been,” she said, entering the room without another word.

The sinking feeling in her gut told her that their secret was out, no matter how hard they had tried to conceal it. Would the Queen report her discovery to her husband…? No, that didn’t seem right. She should have reacted in a different manner if she had truly been surprised by this revelation. Which implied she probably had known for a long time… and if she hadn’t said a word so far, she probably wouldn’t do so right now.

Sif’s conclusion served to appease her if only for the time being. She took a deep breath and walked down the hall, off to her room to finish getting ready. She would meet Loki again as soon as possible, both to tell him about his mother and to reveal that she had stolen one of his precious possessions…

Loki was fitting his pants when his mother entered the room. His upper body was already clad in his leathers, attempting to conceal the secrets his back could reveal.

“I did not expect to find you almost ready for the ceremony, Loki,” said Frigga. “I believed you were most unwilling to attend your brother’s coronation.”

“Your beliefs are correct,” said Loki, fitting his armor before turning to look at his mother. “Nevertheless, I have little to no choice. As the Second Prince of Asgard, I’m meant to follow my dear father’s every command.”

“There’s no need for spite, Loki. There’s always a purpose to everything your father does.”

“You always say that,” said Loki, with a smile that attempted to conceal his disbelief. “But Thor is not fit to rule Asgard. He isn’t yet, and who knows if he ever will be. And if my father isn’t aware of this, I can only conclude that he has lost both eyes instead of one.”

“You are too harsh on your father, Loki,” said Frigga. “He has ruled Asgard fairly for millennia, and all has been well in the Nine Realms.”

“He may be a just ruler… but the same cannot be said about his parenting,” grunted Loki, gritting his teeth. “Not once has he ever considered that perhaps Thor and I could rule Asgard together. United, we could become even better kings than he ever was.”

“Loki…”

“Why has he never suggested this?” he growled. “Why haven’t you? I know he wouldn’t listen if I was the one to bring up the subject...”

“Loki, your father loves you,” said Frigga, lowering her gaze. “He can be complicated at times, but he seeks what’s best for his people, what’s best for his children…”

“And what is best for me, Mother?” asked Loki, looking at her earnestly. “Now that Thor will be crowned, what purpose do I serve Father?”

“I do not know, Loki. But I am certain your father has not forgotten you,” said Frigga, caressing her son’s cheek. “I would never allow him to do such thing. Your time will come, Loki. I believe there is a part for you to play in this story, a bigger one than you’ve ever imagined.”

Frigga’s reassuring words didn’t appease Loki, but he forced himself to smile as he gazed at his mother properly for the first time since she had entered the room.

“You look beautiful, Mother,” he said. “Both Thor and Father will be ecstatic to see you like this.”

“It’s hardly any different from the outfits I usually wear, Loki,” said Frigga, smiling at her son’s compliments.

“Then perhaps it is the occasion that makes your beauty shine brighter than ever,” he said, smiling gallantly and bowing his head to her promptly.

“You are most kind, my son,” said Frigga, caressing his face again. “Are you ready, then?”

Loki sighed and walked towards his closet once more, picking up his favored golden helmet. After a deep breath he placed it on his head, trying to keep himself level-headed. Perhaps he was frustrated at the moment… but as his mother had said, his time would come. Frigga knew not of what he had in mind… and she would be best off not knowing at all.

Tricking his mother was far more difficult than tricking Sif. Asgard’s shield maiden was quick to sense his lies and deceptions, but she never pressed him into surrendering the secrets he kept to himself. Sif would rather take it upon herself to discover what Loki concealed. Frigga, on the other hand, would never rest until she had brought the information she needed from her son. And given how well she knew him, Loki had little to no choice but to give in to his mother.

Hence he had done his best not to show her that he had a very interesting plan in mind, a plan through which he might just achieve his mischievous ends. A plan with which he might lead his father into realizing just how unprepared Thor was to face the pressures of the throne. A plan that might make him turn his head towards Loki, and for once ask him to set an example for his brother Thor. And if everything went well… he might even rule side by side with Thor one day.

Those thoughts scrolled through his mind as he walked through the hallways of the Palace, after excusing himself from his own room in order to set his plan in motion. He had already ensured everything would be in place, and just as Thor was about to be named Odin’s successor, a big distraction would erupt and the entire ceremony would be postponed; if he was fortunate, it might even be cancelled altogether. He truly hoped for the latter.

He was about to make his way towards the ceremonial hall through a deserted passageway when his seidr alerted him that it wasn’t so deserted after all. He allowed himself a small smirk and continued walking, his head held high, as if he hadn’t taken notice of anything.

He was forced to halt when suddenly, from behind a large column, came out an arm he knew all-too well, wielding a dagger he was rather familiar with as well. He stopped when the curved blade of the weapon touched his throat, threatening to end his life. He couldn’t hold back a smile and he looked to his left to find the fair Lady Sif was the one responsible of the sneak attack he had just sustained.

“Lady Sif,” he whispered. “It has been too long.”

“Oh, indeed,” she said, her smile widening. “Caught unawares, were you?”

Sif had been confident so far, but her face fell when Loki gave her a wicked smirk and vanished in thin air with a green gleam. And from behind another column came out the actual Loki, laughing so loudly Sif couldn’t help but blush. Blast it. He had beaten her at her own game.

“Oh, that was good, that was truly amusing,” he said, wiping away the tears that stung his eyes.

“You must think you’re so clever, don’t you?” she spouted with bitterness, and Loki couldn’t help but pretend to think about her statement before nodding.

“Why, I believe I am. And you prove me right, do you not?” he said, his smirk so mocking that she felt a burning urge to punch him in the gut.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest, the dagger in her right hand.

“I thought you knew a sorcerer never reveals his secrets,” said Loki.

“In fact, I know too well that they don’t,” Sif retorted, with a grimace.

“Are you implying I keep secrets from you, my lady?” asked Loki, no longer laughing at her. He was back to his playful, flirting mood, and it only served for Sif to grow even warier of him. He would try to take the dagger from her now, wouldn’t he?

“I’m implying nothing, Loki. We both know you do,” she replied, her face held high as he came closer to where she stood.

“There are some secrets you are better off not knowing, Sif. Believe me on that,” he said.

“How much worth is there in the word of a Liesmith?” asked Sif, at which Loki laughed with disbelief.

“About as much as there ought to be in the skills of a warrior who uses her prowess to steal,” he said, extending his hand towards her. “May I have my dagger back?”

“No, you may not,” said Sif, after pretending to consider what answer she ought to give to his question.

“Is this extortion of some kind?” asked Loki. “I never believed you would resort to such schemes. You always claimed to be above them.”

“Despite how quick-witted you might be, Loki, you are rather naïve,” she said, smiling. “You truly believe that you’ll earn your dagger back with that attitude?”

“Then what should I do to regain it? Should I play by the rules of your game?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sif had been about to answer when his hand darted out towards her, trying to take the dagger by force, assuming that was what the warrior had wanted. But Loki’s guess had been wrong. Sif’s free hand grasped Loki’s wrist, and without too much effort she twisted his arm so strongly he contorted, twisting around in an attempt to release himself from her grip. Sif placed the dagger back in her pocket before taking Loki’s arm with both hands now, to press it against his back.

Despite himself, Loki yelped in pain. He had truly been a fool to go against her in a physical confrontation… there had to be another way to get his weapon back. Why hadn’t he tried to think of something and instead jumped forth with his first conclusion? That was something that Thor would do, not him… He grimaced at the thought and tried to shake Sif off, but it was to no avail.

“Yes, Loki, I wish for you to play by my rules,” she whispered into his ear. “But this isn’t the game I had in mind.”

He stopped fighting back and turned his head around to look at her in disbelief. Sif smirked as she let go of him, and Loki stumbled as he regained his stance. He massaged his arm with his other hand, and Sif could only watch him in amusement.

“Then what game would you rather have me play… my lady?” said Loki, smiling back at her when he uttered the last two words.

“As children we enjoyed playing games of hide-and-seek, did we not?” she said, approaching him. “Well… I have hidden the dagger, Loki. And you’ll have to seek it.”

“And the playground is…?” he asked, his smile growing wider.

“Need you ask?” said Sif, placing her hand on his chest. “There’s no need to take it back through forceful means, my Prince. There never was.”

“So you’re playing a trick on the Trickster, is it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I truly believed you would never try to do such a thing…”

“Have I succeeded?” she asked.

“I would say you have,” he replied, his hands going to her waist.

“Then you have met your match, Loki Odinson,” she stated proudly, making him laugh.

She truly was his match, but not only in regards of wits and tricks. Did she know it? Loki rather doubted she did… and guided by more impulsiveness, he felt he could let her know just how much of his match she truly was.

His heart fluttered in his chest as he looked into her eyes, a broad smile on his face.

“I love you.”

Time seemed to freeze for Sif when Loki whispered that sentence. The deviousness in her smirk vanished, and she was left gaping at him in shock and confusion. He did what, now?!

Loki sensed Sif’s sudden unease, which troubled him. Perhaps he should have kept that thought to himself…

He leaned in and kissed her gently, which only increased Sif’s disbelief. The situation was slowly turning surreal… he had just confessed he loved her because she had stolen his dagger? And now a kiss as subtle as this one turned into more than Sif ever thought it could be. He withdrew himself and turned back towards the hallway warily, having heard footsteps approaching.

“We ought to get ready for the coronation,” he said, though the occasion seemed to grow unimportant next to what he had just done to their relationship. Had he ruined everything by what he had said? “It will begin any second now, and there’s someone in the hallway. They cannot see us like this, so…”

But before he could release her, Sif brought him close and kissed him passionately now, to Loki’s pleasant surprise. All thoughts of being caught slipped from his mind as her hands cupped his face, and his arms surrounded her waist to bring her closer. Their armors rattled when their bodies came into contact. These two kisses seemed the exact opposite to what their first kisses had been…

Until she heard the footsteps as well, Sif didn’t dare separate from him. He had set her heart ablaze by his confession, and the best way to try and appease those burning urges was to kiss him right then and there. Nevertheless… he was right. They should avoid getting caught.

She pressed her forehead against his and caressed his cheek gently.

“Will you… will you get your dagger back after the ceremony is over with?” she asked, suddenly too bashful to look him in the eye.

“If you will it,” said Loki, his smile and confidence returning after what had just happened.

“Of course I will it,” replied Sif, with a small laugh.

“Then I shall do as you wish, Lady Sif,” he said, kissing her again lightly before releasing her from his grip. “Go now. I’ll meet with Thor and we’ll continue with this as soon as we have an opportunity to do so.”

“I look forward to it,” said Sif, breathless and not only because of the kiss. “Loki…”

He smiled at her and waited for whatever she might be waiting to say. The warrior seemed troubled, as if she suddenly were lacking the strength she needed to convey her thoughts, and it was the first time Loki had ever seen her like this. If there was something Sif had in plenty, be it in body, heart and soul, it was strength.

But it truly had failed her this time around. She lowered her gaze and smiled, thinking she would have enough time to reply to his confession later. First she needed to let it sink in… then she would respond. And she was sure he would be more than pleased with the response she had in mind.

“I shall see you again briefly, then,” she settled with words that didn’t betray her truest feelings. She beamed at him and walked away just when a servant came through the hallway, bearing a cup of wine in a tray.

Loki watched Sif as she disappeared behind a corner, and a sigh shook him as she did. He smiled, relieved by her acceptance of his feelings. He had truly feared she would reject him, that she’d reveal he was only ever a man she had wanted to share her bed with. There was a chance she might not feel genuine love towards him as of now… but there was a chance she might in the future. If she hadn’t turned her back on him after that statement, he was certain that their relationship would progress and grow if they led it down the right path.

It was the most unusual thought that had ever gone through Loki’s mind, but a reassuring thought nonetheless. He was so accustomed to being second for everyone… but if Sif might grow to love him, perhaps it meant that, with her, he would no longer be second. And he might not need anything else so long as she believed in him in ways nobody else did.

With those thoughts in mind, he followed the servant that had just gone down the hall. He knew the man was headed towards his brother, and somehow he felt like giving his brother some genuine support before he headed into the ceremony of his coronation…


	2. Chapter 2

Fandral’s wound was not fatal, but healing it took Eir longer than expected. Sif, Volstagg and Hogun stood by, waiting as patiently as possible until they were told Fandral was resting, and that he would be fit to return to his duties in no time.

Sif knew Fandral was rather fortunate to live to tell the tale, and she would have no problem reminding him to thank Loki for saving him later. Hadn’t Loki attacked the Jotun that was ready to murder him, they would have brought Fandral’s frozen corpse home instead of an injured warrior.

Nevertheless, Fandral was in no fit state to provide Loki with his gratefulness at the moment. But Sif didn't mind that he wouldn't be, so long as he thanked Loki eventally. For now, she would be content to meet Loki privately.

She strode the halls towards Loki’s room, hardly bothering to check if there was anyone nearby. She didn’t care for secrecy anymore. Not when she was as worried over Loki as she was.

It was a relief to find him in his room. Loki lifted his gaze towards Sif warily, almost as if he didn’t recognize her, which took Sif by surprise. His eyes shifted into focus after a moment, and he seemed to realize it was only Sif, the same woman who had shared his bed in timeless opportunities now, the young girl he had met so long ago… But even though he could recognize her now, why was it Sif who suddenly felt alienated from Loki? The look in his eyes, even if it was no longer as cautious as it had been at first, showed something she didn’t recall seeing in him before. He was rubbing his left forearm nervously, as if it had been hurt during the battle.

“Loki,” whispered Sif, walking towards where he sat with long strides. “Are you well? Did they wound you?”

“I… I am well, Sif,” he said, releasing his arm as Sif’s hands went to the back of his neck and she gave him a passionate kiss before he could say another word.

Loki’s instincts begged him to respond to Sif’s affection, but he couldn’t do so as enthusiastically as he would have wished. The latest events had either clouded his judgment or cleared his mind, he had no idea which one it was. His left arm burned, but there was no ice left on it, most unlike Volstagg’s own arm. The ice the Frost Giant had tried to spread across his skin hadn’t frozen his arm, it felt as if it had frozen his heart instead.

“Loki…” said Sif, caressing his hair as she pulled away. Loki’s arms went around her, as they often did, as an attempt to appease Sif’s worries. “Are you certain you are well? It seems as if you had seen a wraith…”

“None of that, dear Sif,” he said, but the voice that had once whispered her name warmly seemed colder than ever before. Why? What was the matter with him? “I am just shaken after that trip to Jotunheim… that definitely wasn’t the way I planned the ceremony to end.”

“I know it wasn’t,” said Sif, with a weak smile. “I still have your dagger… but there are more pressing matters ahead of us, are there not?”

“I can’t believe I agree with that, but I do,” said Loki, smiling as well. “Perhaps later, if I’m up to the task.”

“Loki… what happened?” said Sif, as Loki disengaged from the embrace and sat on the bed. “Perhaps you weren’t wounded, but you are hiding something, as always… and I don’t believe you should be so keen to keep secrets at the moment. We could be about to enter a war with Jotunheim and...”

“And you believe anything I say right now would stop that?” asked Loki, unexpectedly bitter.

“No, I… I merely believe we should be as honest as we can with our allies, Loki,” said Sif, surprised by his response. She took a seat next to him and grasped his hand in hers. “What is it you’re not telling me this time?”

Loki stared into Sif’s eyes, his fingers intertwining with hers. She didn’t know… she couldn’t know. How would she? If he was only discovering this strange ability of his, then there was no reason to suspect Sif would understand any of it. Could she possibly take it well? But… take what well, exactly? He didn’t even know the truth behind what had happened in Jotunheim. He had turned the exact same shade of blue as the Frost Giants, but what could that mean? The first thought in his mind was that he might be one of them… but that was absurd. He was his parents’ son, he had always been raised as such. Loki, of Asgard. 

Then… was he cursed, perhaps? Was that why Odin would keep him as Thor’s right hand instead of giving him the chance to ascend to the throne, even though he had showed to have the qualities to rule? It seemed to make sense that an accursed man shouldn’t rule a realm, he ought to break said curse in the first place so that he could keep his people safe when the time came for him to rule. A cursed man could bring doom to his people, he understood as much.

But why had he never been told of this? If it were a curse of some sort, why had it never been revealed to him? What use was it to conceal it from him? His parents… they must have known about it. There was no chance they wouldn’t have. So why did they hide the truth from him?

Sif must have noticed the conflict in Loki’s face, since he turned away from her and glared at the ground, his eyebrows drawn together into a frown.

“Loki…” she said, moving closer. “What is it?”

“I just…” started Loki, before lifting his face towards her. How could he explain this? There was no way to tell Sif what had happened. Not before he actually understood what this revelation meant.

But there was a way to conceal the truth from her, to lead Sif into believing his distress was caused by something other than the fear of bearing a Jotun curse. He gulped, still unable to meet her eyes as he brought forth the courage he needed to tell Sif what had happened in the Bifrost.

“I just stood there, Sif…” he began, as convincingly as he could. “I only stood by as he yelled at our father. I… I can hardly blame him, really, for what he did, but I never thought…”

“What? Loki, what are you saying?” asked Sif, her concern increasing now.

“Thor said the most thoughtless things, Sif,” said Loki, shaking his head as he rubbed his forehead. “If I had been the All-Father, I probably would have done the same as my father did, but… I honestly didn’t think he would go so far. My father had always loved and favored Thor. I never believed he would do anything other than scold him for the problems he caused…”

“What did the All-Father do, Loki?” asked Sif, gripping Loki’s shoulder.

Loki was surprised by how worried she seemed upon the issue. Had he been that theatrical? He was certainly worried for Thor’s fate, but shouldn’t Sif be more concerned over his new discovery…? He froze upon realizing there was no way Sif could know. Nobody had seen him when the Frost Giant had seized his arm. It was ridiculous to expect her to know when there was absolutely no way she could know…

But that didn’t stop him from feeling slightly irritated by her response. Did she really care more for Thor than she did for him? It was a fear that had always been on the back of his mind, and she had always been able to keep those fears at bay. Her kisses, her caresses, the way she would give herself to him each time… it would always help appease him. He would grow reassured upon that, but that tiny glimmer of doubt would always remain… and right now it was growing larger and larger, making his insides churn with anger he didn’t know he had in him. He had always been jealous of Thor for many reasons… but Sif had never been one of them. He hated to think she might become one now.

“He banished him, Sif,” muttered Loki, closing his eyes. “He took away his powers, his glory, his hammer, even… and tossed him to Midgard.”

Sif’s eyes widened and a hand went to her mouth. She was so shocked she couldn’t quite digest all of Lokis’ words in one go.

“B-banished? Into Midgard, of all the realms?” she whispered. “Why, Loki?!”

“Why else, Sif?” grunted Loki. “He endangered us all, he… he has much to learn, and if he hasn’t learned it in all these years in Asgard, chances are he might learn it someplace else.”

“But banishment?!” repeated Sif, her hand leaving his. “Loki, you have to do something! Your father, he’s bound to listen to you…”

“When has my father ever listened to what I have to say, Sif?” said Loki, with a disbelieving smirk.

“I believe there would be a better chance for him to listen to you than to a mere warrior such as myself,” replied Sif.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” muttered Loki. Sif might have been aware of Odin’s intentions to have her marry Thor, but it seemed she wasn’t quite conscious of what that meant in the long run. Odin saw her fit to become a queen… whereas Loki had a strange quality to him, the ability to adapt to the Frost Giants, which was something he couldn’t explain nor understand. It was likely the reason why Odin didn’t trust him. And Sif lacked that quality. Sif was trustworthy. Sif deserved to be Thor’s bride, but she had never seemed to care for that... at least until now. Perhaps, at last, she had decided to show Loki that her heart had always lain with Thor?

Because he had confessed to love her. And her response was to kiss him feverishly… but she had never said the words back to him. She never claimed to love him, too. It was probably because she didn’t feel that way towards Loki. He had always been the bedwarmer, the second, the one who had the scrapes from Thor’s plate. Why should Sif have ever treated him differently? Perhaps only for the chance of mocking him once he held his heart in his hand, offering it to her in one last desperate attempt to earn her affections…

“You have to do something, Loki,” said Sif, pacing around the room. “He’s your brother!”

“And what might he be to you, I wonder?” said Loki, snarling.

“What…? What was that, Loki?” asked Sif, staring at him in utter confusion.

It wasn’t until then that Loki seemed to come to his senses. He blinked a few times and smiled weakly at Sif, his paranoid thoughts stopping on their tracks… but not vanishing altogether.

“He’s… he’s put the entire realm in danger, Sif,” said Loki, lowering his gaze again. “Two realms, considering Jotunheim as well. Who knows how big a war might arise because of his foolishness.”

“And that makes him a failure in your eyes, is that it?” asked Sif, frowning. “I thought you loved your brother better than this, Loki.”

“Thor himself has gotten what he deserves for his actions, Sif,” said Loki. “The All-Father’s choice cannot be reversed. And do not question my love for Thor, Sif…”

“Then why do I sense you’re relieved to see your brother is gone?” asked Sif, frowning. “Is it because you wish to rule Asgard yourself, Loki? Are you pleased he’s out of the way now?”

“What?” asked Loki, his eyes widening. “You accuse me of wanting to usurp my brother’s place? Why would I want the throne?”

“It’s what I cannot figure out!” said Sif, staring at Loki with exasperation. “I don’t understand why you don’t want to do anything about this, Loki! Thor may have been a fool, but he does not deserve the fate that has been wrought upon him.”

“And you’re the one to decide what fate he deserves, Sif?” asked Loki, raising his eyebrows. “You know better than the All-Father?”

“Do not play games with my mind, Loki,” grunted Sif. “You know that’s not what I meant to say…”

“Then why so keen to have him reconsider?” replied Loki. “If you believe in the All-Father’s authority as you claim you do, then why, Sif…?”

“Because I care for Thor!” Sif yelled. “He’s my friend, he’s your brother! And I believe there ought to be a far better manner to bring him to his senses than to toss him into a realm such as Midgard! There has to be another way, Loki!”

Loki didn’t answer immediately. His gaze dropped towards his left hand again, where he felt that ghastly cold…

“If there is, Sif… it is unknown to me as of now,” he muttered, his head tilting forward. “I understand my father’s decision. I can try to come to terms with it. It does not mean I am pleased my brother has been banished.”

Sif’s anger froze as she looked at him. He seemed defeated all of sudden. She had been too harsh on him. His previous distress had been based on Thor’s banishment, had it not? And yet she had deluded herself into thinking Loki cared not for his brother’s future.

“I… I’m sorry, Loki,” she sighed, sitting next to him again. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. I know you care for your brother. And I know how difficult it is to fight against the All-Father’s commands.”

Loki only brought a hand to his forehead, not knowing what to say. Sif felt compelled to embrace him, but there was a vibe to Loki at the moment that warned her against touching him. Was it because of the argument they had just sustained, or was it just because of Loki’s unusual aloofness? He was distant often, but never like this. She would always have a chance to guess what he was hiding behind those smirks of his. But there were no smirks anymore, and the secrets only seemed to have piled up one upon the next until she could unravel none of them.

“Do you believe you’ll find a way to change Thor’s punishment?” she asked. “Is there any chance you might…?”

“I don’t know, Sif,” replied Loki. “I will give it as much thought as I can, but… I cannot promise you I will find a way to reverse this situation.”

“Knowing you’ll try is good enough,” said Sif, smiling. “You always find ways to succeed whenever you put your mind to something.”

Again she slid her hand towards Loki, reaching out towards the left this time. Was it her imagination, or did he twitch upon her touch? He seemed disgruntled, troubled, angry… and he was bottling everything up, as ever. Did it ever occur to him that sharing his problems might help him bear them?

“My mind is set,” whispered Loki. “But so is my father’s. It would seem as if he were planning something… as if he expected this journey into Midgard to serve Thor for good. Why? What convinces him so?”

“He believes in him,” said Sif. “And so should you. You are brothers after all. Just as you never give up, neither does he. You just tend to be more efficient and less violent about attaining what you wish for.”

Loki actually smiled upon that last sentence, and Sif seemed rather pleased with his response. Now she felt more comfortable about surrounding his waist with an arm, dropping her head on his shoulder.

“You’re certain you weren’t hurt in Jotunheim, then?” she asked, and Loki blinked a few times, not knowing how to answer her. “You seem to be grasping your left hand a lot more than usual…”

“It’s… it’s nothing,” said Loki, trying to smile reassuringly. “I only crashed against the ice with it. It’s a mere scrape, it will heal sooner than later.”

“You might want to visit Eir,” said Sif.

“No, I… I have other matters in mind for now,” said Loki. “My arm will be better.”

“I’ll make you suffer if those are merely hollow words, my Prince,” said Sif, smiling.

Loki beamed as well and dropped his head atop hers, trying and failing not to think of what truly concerned him most. He did have more pressing matters to deal with, but he was definitely not thinking about Thor’s banishment right now. The true worries in his mind might only be answered by his parents, but the Casket of Ancient Winters could, perhaps, shed some light about the secrets they had kept from him during all these centuries.

Little did Loki know that his eventual visit to the Casket would serve for nothing but to deepen his outrage and the sense of betrayal that nestled deep inside him. Little did he know that his mischief during Thor's coronation would cost him direly in the end. Little did he know that, after discovering the truth behind his parentage, his life and his relationship with Sif would take a most drastic turn for the worse...

* * *

 

The herald from the Palace couldn’t possibly have taken her by surprise when she had been awaiting word for three days now, but Sif was startled upon his arrival nonetheless. Whatever news he bore, she knew they would bring her no joy, but perhaps they would put her heart at ease at last. Perhaps the message would be all she needed to convince her to forget, in order to leave her past behind…

“Our Prince Thor Oddinsson has returned!” declared the man, and relief washed over Sif. Thor had survived his second visit to Midgard indeed. “And he has brought back the traitor Loki with him!”

Her body became tense when she heard his name and the title of traitor bundled together in the same sentence. That was what he was now… that was all he could ever be. And she would do best to remember it.

The herald left as quickly as he came, no emotions shown in his face upon the delivery of his message. Sif didn’t wait to watch him leave, though. She tried to stay calm, but doing so in this situation was proving to be impossible.

Days ago they had received word that Loki had been sighted in Midgard. Everyone was astonished to hear he was alive, and in Thor’s case he had even been relieved… but upon discovering what Loki had been up to, all that relief had faded away into nothingness. Loki was a survivor, Sif knew as much, but now he seemed to be a survivor without a purpose. He was accomplishing nothing through his schemes; obtaining the Tesseract for the sake of destroying Midgard, in order to rule over the mortals, was such folly that Sif tried to convince herself that this couldn't possibly be the Loki she had known. Her attempts failed, though.

But the All-Father did not have such a hard time setting apart the former Loki, Dark Prince of Asgard, from the current Loki, the menace who would wreak havoc throughout the Nine Realms. He had been surprised upon the discovery of Loki’s survival, but as soon as he came to understand Loki’s terrible crimes, he had furrowed his brow and lowered his head. To him, his son hadn’t come back from the dead at all.

And the same could be said for the rest of Asgard, save for a few people who still bore hope in their hearts for Loki. In the eyes of Frigga, Loki was only lost. She believed he needed to find his way, much like Thor did, even though she would like help him find it herself. His actions hurt her, but he was still her son. No matter his heritage, he would always be her son.

To Thor, Loki was not beyond saving just yet, but he was disappointed in his brother nevertheless. He had wished to bring him back, but he knew Loki would have to face justice. He believed it necessary, for all of Loki’s wrongdoings had to be punished. Yet deep in his heart he had hopes that one day he would ride into battle, side by side, with Loki once again. He had trusted his brother to come to his senses once he found him in Midgard, so that he would cease his futile attempts to find any sort of Realm to rule over.

But Sif had hope she wished she could discard. She truly wanted to join the Warriors Three in their utter disregard towards Loki, their certainty that he was beyond saving and beyond recognition. She wished she could think in the same way as Odin did, still taking Loki to be dead despite his survival.

But after two years of loneliness, of shedding tears to no end over the loss of the man she had loved so deeply, her foolish heart pounded at the thought of seeing Loki once again.

It was absurd of her to feel this way. After all that had happened, she ought to want nothing to do with Loki anymore. She wasn’t bound to him by family bonds, like Thor and Frigga were. It shouldn’t be as hard as it was for her to treat Loki with the disdain he deserved.

Because he had betrayed Asgard, and he had brought chaos to the Nine Realms, but those crimes weren’t the ones that had caused Sif the most grief. He had turned his back on her time after time, carrying secrets whose weight he could not bear in his slender shoulders. He had been too proud to call for help. He hadn’t bothered telling her about the truth of his heritage, he had pushed her aside and afterwards tried to blame her for it. He had taken the throne without second thoughts, and upon her act of rebellion he had even sent the Destroyer to kill her and the Warriors Three, and Thor as well despite the fact that he was powerless to fight back. If Thor hadn’t regained his strength, it was a given that none of them would have survived that day.

And Sif suspected he didn’t feel the slightest remorse over his actions. The way he had behaved in Midgard showed just how far he was willing to take his ploys to get what he wanted. And what did he want, truly? What could Loki possibly gain from all the harm he had caused throughout the universe?

At times she wondered if he had truly planned everything beforehand. Had he been plotting his ascent to the throne as soon as Thor had been banished? Had he planned it even beforehand? It hurt to recall their last shared night, but as she did so, she remembered Loki had been unusually keen to attend Thor’s ceremony. Hogun had suggested that Loki could have been the traitor who brought the Frost Giants into Asgard, and she had refused to believe him… until the pieces of the puzzle started to fit themselves. It could have only been Loki… it could have only been a mischievous plan of his to ruin his brother’s coronation. He had expressed his disenchantment regarding Thor’s ceremony, and he insisted that his brother was unfit to rule as he was. Was it because he truly thought Thor wasn’t ready to rule, or was it because he wanted to be the King to hold Gungnir, to be the one to control Asgard’s fate in his very hands?

Loki’s schemes remained a mystery to her even now. She had been so certain they had reached an understanding once they returned from Jotunheim… she had wanted to have Loki tell the Warriors Three that he would seek a way to free Thor from his punishment, and she had asked him to change Odin’s mind again with the others as witnesses. His response shocked her beyond compare. He refused blatantly, much as he had previously, and he had walked away before she could even try to put some sense into his head. Furious, she had joined the Warriors Three in their criticism of Loki, yet as soon as Hogun had suggested Loki’s treason she had wished it wasn’t true. He had claimed not to care for the throne when she had brought the matter up, and she had regretted accusing him of such greed…

But upon seeing him sitting on the All-Father’s throne, everything she had ever known about Loki became nothing but darkness. As he spoke, as solemnly as he did while he dismissed their request, Sif found only a stranger in the face of a man she had once loved so dearly. He looked down on them, as if they had meant nothing to him, and acted as if his every decision were acts of kindness. The glare she had presented to him had been defiant, and it had shown she would do anything to keep him from getting his way. And, together with the Warriors Three, she had defied Loki’s authority to bring Thor back to Asgard.

But she had always thought this matter could be sorted out. She had thought Odin would grant Loki an equal punishment to Thor’s, or perhaps a larger one, in order to ensure he would never act as cruelly and recklessly again. She had helped Heimdall into the healing chambers, and she had waited patiently with the Warriors Three for word on Thor and Loki’s confrontation…

She had no choice but to excuse herself when she heard of the fate that had befallen Asgard’s Second Prince. She couldn’t believe he was gone, that he had fallen into nothingness and vanished forevermore. There had to be another way, she told herself time over and time again, much as she had told Loki on their last private conversation… but even if there had been another possibility, the truth was undeniable. Loki was lost. Loki was gone. He would never return to her again.

She had tried her hardest not to betray her true feelings while mourning him, keeping her face as stoic as possible whenever Loki was concerned. She would laugh and eat and drink… but her heart wasn’t in the feasts. Nobody else seemed to care for his demise as she did, and it would be best to conceal just how much she cared. They had never known of the true nature of her relationship with Loki. And now, more than ever, she needed to keep it hidden. Dead or not, Loki was a traitor to Asgard.

The only person who seemed to grieve for the lost prince was none other than Frigga. Sif had gone to her, trying to soothe the queen with her words… yet it had been Frigga who had tried to soothe her instead. If only with the touch of her hand, the queen had told her she knew all about the sorrow Sif hid in her heart. Sif had suspected Frigga knew about her closeness with Loki… no, she didn’t suspect it, she was actually certain she knew. But she had decided to keep it secret. She had decided to grant Sif a friendly smile, regarding her almost as a daughter… and not by Thor. They both knew it was not through Thor, even when the All-Father was rather keen to think otherwise.

And so Sif had mourned. She had accepted that the one man she had come to love was lost forever. That his memory would be stained forever in the thoughts of every other Asgardian but her, Frigga and Thor.

Which was why she had felt as betrayed and aghast to discover Loki still lived… and that he had brewed even more evil schemes, now in hopes to bring chaos to other realms. It was worse than to believe he was dead. Now she wondered if the man she had loved was still somewhere within this cruel, vicious man who sought to unleash destruction wherever he went, who wished to be deemed as king even though he had done nothing to earn the title.

It had been Heimdall who had brought the news of Loki’s new wrongdoings in Midgard. Thor had instantly taken off, determined to bring his brother back so that he would take his place as the second prince anew, granted that he apologized for his mistakes first. But Sif had seen the look on the All-Father’s face. She knew he would not forgive Loki. Perhaps he was merciless… or perhaps he had a clearer vision of Loki than Thor did. He knew Loki didn’t seek forgiveness: he sought revenge.

And that revenge was mostly directed towards none other than Odin. He was the one Loki blamed for the misfortunes he had to face. He was the one who had taken him from Jotunheim, who had raised him as his own child without ever revealing the truth of his heritage to him. He was the one who had tossed him aside and always prized Thor above him; for the longest time Loki had been convinced it was over Odin’s shared traits with his firstborn, that he had a hard time bonding with the All-Father because of their differences… but after his discovery, Loki had turned to believe his father’s treatment had been based on dread and fear. He was different… but different beyond anything Loki had ever even dreamt of. He was a Frost Giant. He was a monster. And thus he had never been trusted by his father.

Sif had gasped when Thor had told her and the Warriors Three of the truth behind Loki’s heritage. For him to be a descendant of Frost Giants was the most startling news she could have imagined. But instead of growing disgusted over the fact that she had shared her bed with a man from a race of ice demons, Sif had only felt anguish and sorrow in her heart knowing what this discovery had meant for Loki. Now she understood what had truly disturbed him, what had turned him into the man he had become by the time he fell into that void.

And it was possibly because of this way of thinking that Sif had been unable to feel as much anger towards him as she should have. Even though she feared the man she loved was gone, the stubborn side of her mind insisted that he was still in there somewhere. That he wasn’t truly lost, opposite to what Odin believed.

But the anguish she had been a subject to for the past days was becoming too much for her to handle. The thoughts of meeting Loki again, of rekindling the love he had claimed to bear her, of pleading Odin to spare him, to allow him the chance to lead a new life if only in seclusion, but a life she could share with him…

Of course, it was all folly. These ridiculous daydreams of hers were not to come true. She wouldn’t allow them to come true. Her pride would keep her foolish hopes at bay. She was not a shy maiden who would pine after a man she yearned for. She was Asgard’s finest warrior. She knew the laws, she understood them and she would never plead mercy for a man who had betrayed Asgard as Loki had.

Nevertheless, her heart still ached for him. She still cared about the treacherous Loki even when she believed her love for him would never bear any fruit. Between them, it could only end in tragedy… so why didn’t her heart understand that for once and for all? The pain she was withstanding was unbefitting her. Why should she continue suffering over Loki? This nonsense had to stop. She had spent days on end moping over him. She could no longer waste her time hoping for their situation to take a turn for the best. It never would. Regrets only brought her mind into disarray, and no respectable warrior should let his judgment be clouded in this manner.

And so… what was she to do in order to put Loki and their relationship behind her for once and for all? Was there anything she could do to get over Loki?

An idea came to mind slowly, as she tried to remember what tied her to Loki still. There was a single object that held great significance for both of them… an object she had taken from him. A dagger that had become more than just a weapon: it was a promise.

And even though tears burned in her eyes, she realized that, in order to leave Loki behind for good, she would have to break it.

* * *

The prison cell he was placed in was unpleasant due to its walls of light. Loki paced several times through the small confinement, gazing through the light towards the other cells in the dungeon. He couldn’t hold back a smirk of satisfaction: he had been locked with the worst criminals of the Nine Realms.

And it should be that way, he knew as much. What he had done was beyond his father’s forgiveness, especially given that he had been the one to raise Loki. Odin could hardly believe a man who had grown side-by-side with his flawless heir, Thor, could be as twisted and cruel as Loki had proved to be. He had even told Loki that his destiny had only ever been to die. Loki found it an amusing notion, given that he had been sentenced to jail instead of given penalty of death. If such was his fate, perhaps his father ought to try harder to kill him. If he were to die here, it would be of boredom and nothing else.

But his satisfaction lost against his frustrations sooner than later. After only a few hours in the chamber he had dropped against the wall, his head drawn back as he tried to think clearly for the first time since this entire disaster had begun. Because, at last, he had no other choice other than to sit alone with his thoughts. There were no more ploys to be schemed, no more malicious plans to hatch to wreck his father’s prized cosmic order… it was only him now. His chances to find revenge were gone. He was back in Asgard now…

And he truly didn’t feel as if he had come home at all. He had returned as a traitor, as a murderer, as a threat to the safety of the Nine Realms. He was no longer Loki of Asgard. Now he was regarded as Loki of Jotunheim. And that was a different Loki. It was a cold-blooded Loki. It was a ruthless Loki. And it was the real Loki.

No longer would he hold back in attempts to please his father, or to make his mother proud… to stand by his brother’s side was a long-lost dream. Why did he want to be Thor’s equal when he could be superior to him anyways? There was no need to fit in anymore. He had peeled off the mask, he had allowed himself to become the man he had always wanted to be…

Was he truly the man he wanted to be, though? Was this the path he wanted for himself? He was certain he didn’t want to be his brother’s advisor when he reigned over Asgard, that was a given. Those were the hopes of a foolish boy who knew nothing of the world he lived in. His previous ideas for his future were only ideas he knew others expected him to have. Did he want to be accepted and cherished by the people of Asgard? Of course not. Why did he ever want that? They had always hated him. Even without knowing he was the child of Lauffey, they had hated him. And he had longed for their appreciation for so many years… such folly! There was no point in pleasing everyone. It was best to accept their hatred and return it tenfold, so that they would come not only to despise him further… but to fear him. They would be right to fear him. All of them, every single one of…

No. Not all of them. Thor would never fear him, he wasn’t the kind of man who would fear his own brother. And his mother… how could she ever fear him? If she did… the mere thought froze his mind over. There was no way Queen Frigga could be frightened by her child, by the boy she had loved so dearly.

And there was another person who wouldn’t fear him. Who would defy him even if she didn’t believe she could come out of it unscathed. Chances were she might be afraid… but she wouldn’t show it. Her courage fueled her, it always had. She knew how to be brave when nobody else could. That was what made Lady Sif the fiercest warrior of all the realm.

But even if she wouldn’t fear… she would loathe him, that was a given. She would never accept him again with open arms, especially now, when everyone knew that he was truly Laufey’s, and not Odin’s. She surely was disgusted to discover what sort of a monster she had been bedding… The thought made Loki chuckle lowly, though it wasn’t truly amusing. Yet laughing about it helped him ignore the pain that struck his heart like sharp razors when he thought about her.

Her betrayal still hurt him beyond compare. His father’s treatment of him had always been unjust, and the concealment of his true heritage would never cease to enrage him… but despite everything, deep down, he had hoped Sif would see through him as she often did. He had thought his feelings for her would be enough for the warrior to realize that he had never wanted any of this to happen. She knew him better than most anyone… and yet she had showed no regrets, no doubts about turning her back on him and defying his commands as she had. She had almost jumped to attack him, and she had glared at him with such anger that Loki had a hard time trying to remain stoic upon her reactions.

But she had no second thoughts regarding joining Thor, bringing him back to Asgard against Odin’s own orders. At times Loki would wonder if Sif would have ever done the same for him… given that she hadn’t even bothered trying to discover if he still lived, that she hadn’t accompanied Thor to find him, that she hadn’t even come see him as he was delivered into Odin’s Palace, he rather doubted it.

Would she have done it before this mess had begun? Back in the day when she had smiled at him and kissed him and shared his bed… would she have wanted him to return just as badly as she had wanted Thor to come back? Loki’s eyes dropped when he grew convinced that she wouldn’t have. He was always second to his brother. Even in Sif’s eyes, he would never be as important as the true Asgardian Prince Thor was.

And now he wasn’t even second. Now he was the traitor, the monster, the one who was locked in the dungeon with the worst criminals of all the Nine Realms. Why would Sif ever recall she had ever cared for him? She surely must have denied all form of involvement with him… She probably had thrown the dagger away, hadn’t she? Well, if she had any decency she ought to return it to Frigga, at the very least. In her eyes, he would only be a stain in her flawless reputation, a stain she would be more than willing to erase for once and for all. Had she been sick when she realized everything she had worked for would be damned forevermore if her affair with him was unveiled? With a Frost Giant, of all things… a Frost Giant. Did she know yet that he had been the one to bring the Jotunn into Thor’s coronation? Did she even care?

Probably not. A high-born lady, the strongest warrior of the realm… even a spare thought towards the traitor was too much to ask for.

His thoughts were interrupted when he realized the prison guards seemed to shift and chatter, perhaps amongst themselves, perhaps with a new arrival. Loki felt slightly ashamed to realize he was watching the exchange most carefully… there really was nothing to do in this useless cell, was there? Any movements outside it caught his eye, no matter how trivial they might be.

But it stopped looking trivial as soon as the guards walked away, leaving through the hall orderly. Loki frowned, confused by their departure. He stared for a moment, wondering if a new shift would come now…

No, it wasn’t a new shift.

It was none other than Sif.

His eyes widened as he caught sight of her, recognizing her even though her features were darkened by a hood. His heart raced as he stared, unable to believe she was actually here. Why had she come? What was she doing down in these dungeons? There was no chance she had come visit another inmate… she had come for him.

Come to gloat? Come to apologize? Come to tell him this was what he deserved? To confirm everything he had thought about her, or to prove him wrong…? Which was it?

It didn’t matter, though. Whatever she had come for… she would garner no reactions from him. He frowned and hoped she would be unable to sense just how anxious he was as he watched her walk towards him.

And Sif herself wasn’t exactly calm and collected. Getting the guards to leave wasn’t a difficult feat, she was well-known and a warrior in Royalty’s closest circles. They didn’t question her, they merely walked away as soon as she asked. But how to face him now…? How to remove that hood, how to take the dagger out and place it before him without being betrayed by her shivering hands?

It was no good that the blood was rushing through her system so fast she could almost feel it burn her. But it didn’t matter. One step at a time, she would reach him. And when she did…

A quick hand rose towards her hood, and she flung it back brusquely. Loki held back a gasp upon seeing her again. There was hardly any difference to her… she was the same as he remembered. A powerful, deadly beauty, with steel in her eyes.

In the eyes that found his. And they were unwavering. They were fierce. They were angry. They were hurt. Loki couldn’t even number the many things he could see in her eyes in this very moment. Without a doubt… this was Sif. A year had kept them apart, a year in which she had grown stronger, colder and ready to fulfill her duty, no matter what it entailed, no matter the bond they'd shared in the past.

It hurt Sif to feel Loki’s dead stare on her. No… perhaps it wasn’t dead. But it was as barren, as mysterious as it had ever been. His eyebrows were drawn together elegantly, a feat only Loki could achieve. And he was regarding her coldly… as if calculating, as if waiting for her to make a mistake so that he could taunt her about. What hid beneath that cold exterior?

That was the question she had asked herself all the time, ever since they were children. What was it that Loki concealed within himself as he did? What was the unusual shyness the boy had? It would set him apart from all the other kids their age, and it would always lure Sif to discover what it was he was hiding so carefully. It had been her curiosity what had brought her closer to Loki from the very beginning. It was pointless to still feel curious about him now, though, when she was trying to cut off all the attachment she felt towards him.

Because over time, that shyness had turned into spite, jealousy and bitterness. He had grown to hate… he had grown to create chaos and destruction without ever caring for the consequences his actions had over others… the consequences his actions had over her. He had claimed to love her once. Had it been another of his lies? Or had his heart frozen when he had discovered his true heritage? Was he incapable of love now?

Sif hated to think so, but in a way, she held onto the thought that he was. It would make this so much easier for her.

The glacial glare he was giving her didn’t convince her otherwise. If he still cared… if he still loved her, why would he sit in his cell as he did, instead of jumping towards her in joy to see her again despite everything that had happened? There was truly nothing in his demeanor that showed he cared at all about her presence. If anything… he was full of hate. And that hatred was being directed towards her right now. For betraying him, surely. For ruining his plans, she had no doubt.

And of one thing she had no doubts either, as she sighed in disappointment. Odin hadn't been wrong: the Loki she had once loved was truly gone.

Loki was surprised by her sigh, and by the way she seemed to give up after the stare contest they had just had. She had come looking for an opening, perhaps. To find if there was anything about him that she could recognize… but there wasn’t. He had made sure of that. He had thrown everything away… including her. She had betrayed him. She would rather choose Thor than him. She had never loved him. And he owed her nothing but the glare he was providing her with. If it truly displeased her, then so be it. The time to pretend to be a kind-hearted man was over. He wouldn’t show any weaknesses, to her, or to anyone else. He still had some dignity left, after all. It was one thing they couldn’t take from him even after tossing him into this cell.

But that dignity threatened with leaving him when her hand went to her waist… and she withdrew the dagger she had stolen from him so long ago. This time he was unable to conceal his shock. Why had she brought it? Was she planning on killing him with his own weapon, to make him even more pitiful than he already was?

Sif took a few more steps forward and she dropped her gaze to the dagger as she placed it by the edge of his cell carefully. If she hadn’t been as upset by the true meaning of what she was doing, she might have even felt proud of having been able to keep her hands from trembling. But she couldn’t feel any pride. All she could feel was regret. Perhaps in another life, perhaps in another realm… perhaps in another universe entirely, they could have been together. They could have been what she had always thought they would be. But in this time and space, there was nothing to be done about their relationship. It was beyond saving. All the same as Loki was.

Loki’s bottled anger and bitterness upon the thought of being killed by Sif in cold blood vanished when he understood the true meaning of what she was doing. His eyes widened as she left the dagger, most delicately, by Loki’s side. She lifted her eyes again, to see if perhaps now he would leave behind the coldness… if he might show her the smallest glimpse of the man she had known before.

She was mildly relieved to see he had actually reacted to what she did… but now he stared at her accusingly. He knew this signaled the end of what had once been his one reason to live… his one reason to carry on, despite everyone else’s jests, his father’s discouragement, his brother’s superiority… Sif had convinced him, even if only subconsciously, that if she could see someone worthwhile in him, he wasn’t as lost as he had suspected he was. That if she would take her time to know him, to fight side-by-side with him, to laugh with him, to embrace him whenever he felt down, then perhaps he mattered to someone. That perhaps he mattered to her.

And that had been more than enough for such a long time. It had given him the strength to endure everything that had ever brought him down. She was his one comfort, the sole ray of light in a world of darkness…

And now the light was gone. She was gone. And all he could do was watch her leave.

Tears threatened to burn in Sif’s eyes as she felt shameful for once. She hadn’t quite thought she had betrayed Loki back when she had defied his orders… she had done the right thing. That was what she had convinced herself of. But now… now she was truly betraying him. Willingly. Knowingly. The look in his eyes was more than enough to show her just how disgusted she ought to feel about herself. Out of anything she could have done… why was she casting him away? Why couldn’t she just sit by him in his cell and talk to him? Why did she decide on this course of action…?

She didn’t know anymore. But she had already left the dagger. There was no taking back this gesture. He wouldn’t allow it either. If she even tried to apologize, he would probably try to attack her despite the wall that kept them apart. There was no coming back from this.

It was truly over.

She glanced at him one last time, almost apologetically, before turning away towards the exit once more. She walked steadily, but her head wasn’t held high. That, at the very least, gave Loki a little relief. She wasn’t proud to shatter his heart, then. She wasn’t as cruel towards him as the others, Loki had always known that, but time could have changed her. And it seemed it had, but she hadn’t changed beyond recognition. Unlike him.

He wasn’t the same anymore. He was the true Loki now, the man who had hidden under all those layers of the faked perfection of Asgard’s Second Prince. He craved for destruction, for chaos, for revenge… he had no time for useless regrets, for the pain that extended through his chest so rapidly that he thought he might even choke…

Tears began dripping from his eyes before he knew it, and he shut them tightly, as if trying to retain them. No… he had no reason to cry over this. Sif had made her choice. Sif had cast him away with her gesture. And if she cared not for him, then why should he ever bother sending even a measly thought her way? It shouldn’t matter… not to him. Not now. Not anymore.

Sif tried to keep calm all the way until she reached her chambers, but it proved impossible. She left the prison and walked into the first empty room she found in the Palace, not caring whose it might be. She locked herself inside it and her hands went to her face as she tried her hardest not to lose herself to her emotions… but how? What was she supposed to do now? Everything she had ever hoped for… all her expectations regarding Loki had vanished. Her life was no longer entwined with his. Now they were no more than a memory. She had let him go… and he had let her do so, without a fight, without any complaints… but with that glare, that ferocious glare, that told her that he had truly loved her once. That he had lied about many things… but not about his feelings for her. And now she was throwing them back at his face, rejecting him, dismissing him as if he were no longer worth the trouble.

And was he, or wasn’t he? Perhaps he had been. But she could do nothing about it anymore. All she could do was hug herself as she tried to keep her silent sobs from bringing her to her knees as she wept. He cared, of course… but he wouldn’t be upset over this. He would only hate her, she knew, and she had given him a perfect reason to do so. All those nights she had spent reassuring him that she wouldn’t leave him… and now she had turned back on every single promise she had ever made to him. 

How many times would she have to tell herself this was for the best, that she could have no more to do with Loki, until she finally believed it? She was growing convinced that no amount of repetition would ever prove enough. The pain was too strong, the grief all-consuming. She wouldn't have to mourn his physical death anymore, but she would forever mourn the death of her hopes of ever meaning anything to the Trickster she had loved and lost forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting on the Asgardian throne was a responsibility he hadn’t quite wanted to face the first time around. He had felt as though the entire weight of the Nine Realms’ future had rested on his shoulders, and making the right decisions while his mind was in turmoil would have been a feat impossible for most men. Perhaps not to Loki, though. Up to date, he didn’t believe he had made any wrong choices during his brief reign in Asgard. He didn’t want to believe it, rather.

But he didn’t fear blunders this time around. Now he sat on his throne, fighting the urge to laugh in the face of his guards as he feigned his father’s solemnity and old age, but truly, if he could have gotten away with it, he would have revealed himself and showed everyone on Asgard who was truly leading them now. They loathed him so much… they never would have consented to have him rule them.

Nonetheless, he was ruling over them all the same. Thor had given him his leave, unknowingly, yet he had. Nobody had protested against his taking the throne… because how could they? From the standpoint of any asgardian, he was Odin All-Father. He had spent enough years near Asgard’s king to know just how to imitate him flawlessly. A mere enchantment to change his appearance, and nobody could tell him apart from Odin. His grief for Frigga's demise was as real as Odin’s as well, so there were absolutely no clues that could reveal he had usurped the throne.

But after a few days of being king, he found himself wondering if someone might guess it was him eventually. When the Warriors Three were summoned, they knelt before him and heeded his every word, and he felt quite the devious satisfaction to watch them in their rightful place before him. But he had wondered if they would hold suspicions… he wondered if they might know. Volstagg and Fandral were fools, they weren’t prone to discover his trick, but perhaps Hogun was clever enough to see through him. Perhaps he would pick up on a mistake or another in his mannerisms… but no. He had bowed his head and sworn to keep to his duties just as solemnly as the other two had.

The guards weren’t sharp enough to see anything but what was laid before their eyes. The nobility would merely smile at him and perhaps tell him how much grief they felt for Queen Frigga’s demise. Not even Heimdall’s prodigious eyes could see the truth behind Loki’s disguise. Against Loki’s magic, the Bifrost’s keeper was as blind as every other soul in the Nine Realms.

His stomach had lurched instantly, though, when he was faced with Lady Sif. He wondered if she would pick up on the All-Father’s strange behavior when he had requested her to take the Aether to the Collector. Two Infinity Stones stored in Asgard endangered the safety of the Nine Realms, and Loki had explained as much to Sif. She had listened and nodded, somber and stern, and she had taken Volstagg to accompany her in the fulfilling of her mission. Of course, Sif didn't quite know just how endangered the Nine Realms would be if she didn’t take the Aether away; she had no understanding of the powerful threats that loomed over Asgard. But Loki did. He knew them first hand. He knew them all too well, much better than he wished he did. And whether he was doing it for Asgard’s safety or for his own sake, he had to do everything in his power to keep Thanos as far from this realm as possible. Keeping the stones under his protection would be as good as an open invitation for his mortal enemy to come assault Asgard…

He had tried not to show his anxiety as he conveyed Sif’s orders, and considering she gave no signs of recognizing him as someone very different from Odin, it seemed his acting had been even better than he believed it was. Had he played his role so well that not even Sif had taken notice of the way the All-Father’s single eye had studied her too intently this time? It was odd that the quick-minded Sif would also fail to see through his trick. Either her intellect had dulled after two years of not having to deal with Loki’s mischief directly, or he was far more convincing in his role as Odin than he ever thought he would be.

In the end, he realized somewhat late just what his true interest had been with this great endeavor. It wasn’t to show his father just how great a ruler he could be (which he would show him anyways), or to take revenge on those who had always looked down on him… no, he was far more interested in waiting to discover if perhaps someone would take notice of who was truly sitting on Asgard’s throne. But nobody, not even Thor himself, had suspected him in the slightest. Which was foolish of Thor, of course. The one flaw of his performance so far had been his acceptance of Thor’s words of praise towards Loki without shouting that the Trickster was a monster, that he would never deserve to reign over Asgard so Thor shouldn’t even suggest the idea. But he had been so shocked by Thor’s words that he had only accepted everything he said, giving Mjollnir’s wielder leave to stay in Midgard with the mortal he loved so dearly.

Jane Foster had given him a good impression, despite the slap she had gifted him with. Perhaps he wasn’t the most impartial man out there, because he would have approved of Thor’s choice of a woman no matter who she was, so long as he wouldn’t take Sif. Jane Foster could have been a bilgesnipe for all Loki cared, if it meant Thor wouldn’t be with Sif. It didn’t matter if Sif wanted nothing more to do with Loki, he still couldn’t bear see her in the arms of another man, even if it was a man as Thor. Loki didn’t doubt Thor cared for Sif deeply, and he would certainly make a decent husband for her… but he wouldn't even think about it anymore, not when he was completely smitten over that human. And that was just another treat for Loki. He still didn’t have everything he wanted, far from it, really. He wished for the asgardians to respect him accordingly, and for Sif to return to him… but even though those two desires were unlikely to be fulfilled at all, his current circumstances were far better than sitting in his lonesome cell, reading about Pythagoras’ theorems…

He had read the book twice, though. It was the last gift he had received from Frigga. And even though he hardly thought of Odin as his father anymore, Frigga would never stop being his mother, in death or in life. He truly wished she hadn’t perished… but there was nothing he could do to bring her back now. Until the day came when he could bring the dead to life, he wouldn’t see her again. But she was, surely, in Valhalla by now. That thought comforted him slightly, but it wouldn’t seal away the pain that surged through him whenever he thought about his mother.

His thoughts were interrupted when a guard stepped to the front of Odin’s Throne Room and declared, with potent voice:

“The Lady Sif has returned from her mission. She has come to inform you of the result, my King.”

Loki groaned as he fixed himself in his seat, the sound old men did whenever they didn’t feel strong enough for what awaited. It was amusing to feign Odin’s old age was getting to him, truly…

“Send her in,” he spoke clearly, and the guard returned into the hallway to fetch Sif.

His heart began racing when he caught sight of Sif anew. The expression across her face was the same as it had been when he had seen her last. She seemed fierce, ready to take upon her duties… yet that was but a mask. He could see she hid anguish behind those beautiful features. An anguish he wasn’t certain he understood. Was it over Thor’s departure for Midgard? Perhaps she was truly jealous of Jane Foster… the mere idea irritated him, so he hoped it might be something else instead. Maybe the source of her sadness was Frigga’s demise? Most of Asgard still mourned her. Sif had gotten along with Frigga quite well, so that might be the reason she seemed so downcast.

And then that thought he didn’t want to permit himself: perhaps she was upset because of him. The world thought him dead. Thor had confirmed his death, even after the guards had declared to have found his body. Nobody doubted anymore that he had perished…

Yet why should that bother her? Why would that upset her? It didn’t seem like it had before. She had returned his dagger and spoken no words, turned her back on him and only looked upon him again when she had a blade under his throat. The situation had reminded him of the way she had caught him before Thor’s coronation… he had been unable to keep himself from smiling so widely. Yet he was certain she didn’t care for that matter. She likely hadn’t realized just how similar the two situations had been.

Nevertheless… her hair was down that day. Her hair was down now. She had kept it tied before, only loosening it whenever they shared a passionate night together. What could possibly prompt her to keep it down lately? It couldn’t be chance, surely…

No, of course it was. Maybe Thor had told her it suited her best. Perhaps even Frigga had said so before, and she decided to keep it down to honor her. But for him? Not a chance. She loathed him, he had no doubt she did. He was a monster, and she had allowed herself to be weak to him. That wasn’t something a warrior could ever forgive or forget. She would refuse to be weak against him ever again.

“Lady Sif,” he spoke, gripping Gungnir with an unsteady hand. Why did he feel like he was about to fall when he was sitting down? Truly, why did he have to be such a fool when it came to Sif? “Was your mission a success?”

“Yes, All-Father,” spoke Sif, kneeling before him and keeping her gaze down, avoiding his. “The Collector has taken the Aether. Volstagg accompanied me in the delivery, but he headed down to the dining hall by now. Since you only requested me to fulfill the mission, I came to report to you by myself.”

“Very well, then,” said Loki, nodding curtly. “It has been done, Lady Sif. You prove your value as Asgard’s most trusted warrior, as ever.”

“W-well, my king, I do not believe…” said Sif, surprised by the praise. “It was not a difficult mission. A mere delivery is hardly deserving of such words.”

“You may not understand the importance of your mission,” said Odin, sighing. “But I do. You have helped keep the Nine Realms safe through this mere delivery, Lady Sif. Perhaps you ought to be more pleased with yourself.”

“I… yes, my king,” said Sif, still confused, but deciding not to oppose Odin’s words. It was the first time Asgard’s king had kept her talking for so long after a mission report. Usually he would dismiss her as soon as she informed him of the result of her quests. Why wouldn’t he do so now? She would much rather be alone right now.

“You say ‘yes’, but I hear ‘no’,” said Loki, frowning. “What troubles your mind, Lady Sif?”

Sif held back the urge to stare at him in disbelief. How could he ask such a question? The world she knew had taken a turn for the worse in a matter of a week! The man she loved had died… for a second time, it seemed. Her greatest friend had decided to leave Asgard to pursue a life with a mortal. And the woman she had almost come to see as her own mother had died. What was left for her? She didn’t know. She truly didn’t know what anchored her to Asgard anymore. It probably was the thought that there was no place else for her to be. But without knowing it, the true reason why she had wished to belong in Asgard had been because of Loki and Thor. What was she to do without them now? The Warriors Three were still her friends, and they wouldn’t leave her… but even so, it didn’t feel like a powerful motivator to keep her fighting the battles for the Nine Realms. She was weary… she was tired. She was lonely. All of this was what troubled her… but she wouldn’t dare tell the truth to Odin, of all people.

“It is not a matter the All-Father should concerned about,” said Sif.

“Oh, you ask me to keep my nose in my own business, is it?”

“W-what…? Never, my king!” spouted Sif, surprised when he took her words to have a completely different meaning than the intended one. “I only believe you should not waste your valuable time worrying over someone such as myself. My troubles will not affect my performance in battle.”

“I’m led to believe otherwise,” said Odin, shifting on his seat. “A warrior with an unsettled heart might not perform his duty as well as he would if his heart was at peace. And certainly, I would believe your performance needs no more drawbacks. Why is your hair loose nowadays, Lady Sif? Won’t it get in the way of your fighting?”

Sif’s eyes widened and she looked at Odin in utter shock. Why was he questioning her answers? Why was he asking about what troubled her? And how on earth had he taken notice of the way she carried her hair? She had never taken Odin to be such an observant man…

“I… my hair… it won’t be in the way. It hasn’t been for… for two years now,” said Sif, trying to keep her voice from trembling as she tried to explain herself without revealing information she truly needed to keep to herself.

“Is that so?” asked Odin, raising his bushy white eyebrows. “Two years…? Is that chance, Lady Sif? I seem to recall a particular troublesome situation that happened two years past.”

“My king, this isn’t really…” said Sif, grimacing as she stood up.

“It doesn’t please you to speak of such matters, does it?” said Loki. “Not like this, that’s for certain. At least, not while others might listen. Guards, leave us.”

Sif was taken by surprise by that command, and so were all the soldiers that lined the hall. Nevertheless, they obeyed without question. Sif watched them, awestruck, as they walked through the exit carefully, one by one, until the last guards shut the doors behind them. She was locked in the Throne Room with the All-Father. The thought, for some reason, was downright terrifying.

“I see the grief in your eyes, Lady Sif,” said Odin, when he was certain they were alone. “And it might seem it is not my place to ask questions… but my children have left me, all the same as my queen. Is it truly hard to believe that a king would seek to speak with his best subjects when he finds himself as lonesome as I am now?”

Sif’s eyes widened. He had spoken in plural. Children. But… hadn’t he taken Loki to be dead even upon his return, in chains? He had refused to regard Loki as his son ever since he had wrought chaos through Midgard. Why did he do it now?

“It may come as a surprise to you to hear I wished for you to join Thor in marriage…” said Loki, trying to ignore the burning feeling in his stomach just by thinking about it.

“It… it does not, my king,” said Sif, shaking her head. “Rumors had often found their way to me. Your s-... Loki even mentioned it, once or twice.”

It surprised her to be able to speak Loki’s name so easily. She had thought that doing so would prove far more challenging than it had been.

“Then… it may not shock you that I would look upon you now as a daughter, even when Thor has left with another woman,” said Loki, trying to hold back the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of his own words. Maybe pretending to be Odin would be a worse bother than he had expected it to be. “Perchance you might not feel comfortable by disclosing your personal troubles to me… but I would truly appreciate it if you did.”

He thought of her as a daughter…? As a daughter from a different son than the one she would have wanted to marry. The one she should have married so long ago. Perhaps marrying him, and showing the rest of Asgard that her heart lay with him, could have spared them from the number of catastrophes they had faced recently.

“My king, my hair is truly not something of relevance, I believe…”

“It has proven quite relevant before, if you might recall correctly,” said Odin, and Sif blushed at the mention of an occasion long time past, when a mischievous little boy had made Sif's beautiful golden hair disappear and replaced it with her dark locks instead…

“It is of no matter this time, my king,” said Sif, dropping her gaze. “It’s more comfortable to keep it down as of late, that is the truth of it.”

“Is it, now? And what about the sadness in your eyes, my lady?” asked Odin, raising his eyebrows again.

“That… my king, your losses have been mine as well. Your two sons… your queen. I loved them all dearly for a long time.”

“My two sons?” asked Odin.

“Why… yes, my king,” said Sif, frowning. So he had been willing to acknowledge Loki as his before, but he wouldn’t anymore? 

“Thor has not perished, though,” said Odin, and Sif’s confusion dissipated slightly. “He assured me he would fight for the realm if he were needed.”

“It comforts me to know he has found happiness, I only wish the best for him,” said Sif, bowing her head.

“Does it? Wouldn’t you have rather provided that happiness yourself?”

“M-my king… if I may speak my mind, I never truly thought of marrying Thor. I love him as a friend, and I will always cherish him as one… but not as a husband.”

“Is that so?” asked Odin, apparently surprised. Was he displeased? “Then all the better I did not make you marry him against your will. Surely you would have been unhappy in a marriage you did not ask for.”

“I do not believe Thor would have made me unhappy,” said Sif, smiling weakly. “But his heart belongs to another, that is the truth of it.”

“And what of your heart? Does it only belong to duty and war, Lady Sif?” asked Odin.

“I… my heart will only cause me sorrows, I fear.” said Sif, dropping her gaze.

“Is that so?” Loki’s stomach would have lurched over anxiety if he hadn’t held it back. He couldn’t allow her to see through him, of course not… “How did you come to such conclusion, Lady Sif?”

“It… it is not a tale I should share, my king,” said Sif. Loki had expected her to blush, at most… but instead the deepest sadness seemed to settle over her features. “Let it be said I have loved and lost enough times to wish I needn’t love again.”

“It surprises me to hear this,” said Odin. “I did not know you had a lover… and I am fairly certain it must have happened during the long time I have known you, since you were a child when you first came to the halls of Asgard’s Palace. Whoever it is you loved… he must have been quite the fool to lose you.”

“He… he perished, my king,” said Sif, closing her eyes as she tried to keep the waves of sorrow from bringing her down. “But truly… he had lost me before his death.”

“Had he? Then he was a fool, no doubt,” said Loki, “Why would his demise bother you so, if he did not provide you with the love you yearned for?”

“I do not… I do not know,” admitted Sif, despite herself. She didn’t want to speak of it… it hurt beyond compare. But why couldn’t she stop talking? “I believed my feelings had perished before he did, but I was wrong. And now he has died, while my emotions linger.”

“If he truly lost you, then certainly he was unworthy of those feelings, Lady Sif,” muttered Loki, dropping his gaze.

What was the meaning of this? Why did she seem to grieve him so much? She had returned that dagger, she had given it to him and turned around, only looking at him with eyes that seemed to pity him! Why did she mourn him like this now? Why did she speak of…?

Of having loved and lost? His free hand balled into a fist when the true meaning of those words struck him. Then… she had never spoken, but she had truly felt this way about him. When he told her he loved her, she had kissed him so enthusiastically, perhaps hoping to convey her feelings later on. When they fought over the possession of the dagger, surely…

Gungnir trembled in his grip, but Sif failed to notice.

“Even if you were right, my liege… it would seem a heart hardly listens to reason,” sighed Sif. “Even the heart of a warrior such as myself.”

“The heart of a warrior loves the fiercest, it seems,” said Odin, nodding slowly. “Do not brood over this matter, Lady Sif. He must have known what you felt for him, and now he’s sure to sup in Valhalla, along with my queen…”

“I can only wish that is his fate,” sighed Sif, though she did not believe it likely. Could such glorious fate await Loki after death…? “Nevertheless, he never knew of what I felt. I failed to convey it… I never spoke the words. And I know now I should have. Our last encounter was brief and sorrowful, and I only broke his heart and mine through my actions. He must have died with a heart full of hatred for me. And that I grieve the most.”

“You were the one who brought an end to this matter?” asked Odin, surprised.

“It was a relationship with no future,” sighed Sif. “It couldn’t have ended well for either of us. I thought I had done the right thing by ending it, but now I wonder if perhaps I should have tried to make amends, to spend what little time we had left together.”

“It must have been wiser to put an end to it,” said Odin. “The hardest decision is often the right path to tread.”

“Yet it is too hard, my king,” said Sif, gritting her teeth. “I… I am only full of regret, of anger towards myself over what I did and what I didn’t do…”

“Then you regret returning the dagger?” asked Odin… only realizing the mistake in his question once the words were already out of his mouth.

Her eyes widened upon his last sentence. The dagger? How could Odin possibly know…?

Oh, no. All the signs. All the lies… all the deceit. All those years of living with it all, and after two years she had forgotten how to read them. How foolish could she be?

“I… I do not recall having said anything about a dagger, my king,” said Sif, raising her enraged and distrustful eyes towards Odin… or towards who she now knew sat in Odin’s throne, pretending to be the All-Father. “Let alone about returning it.”

“I… the dagger was found before Loki’s cell, I only thought…” started Loki, attempting to salvage the situation and feeling pathetic while at it.

“I did not say it was Loki I spoke of, my liege,” muttered Sif, venom in her voice. “And why should returning a mere dagger to him mean anything, let alone the end of a potentially clandestine relationship?”

She had him, of course she did. There was absolutely no escape. He had built a trap for a bear and fallen headfirst in it. How stupid could he be, truly? Why was he so careless?

“Is it I who should be spilling secrets, All-Father…” started Sif, no longer keeping her eyes low in order to regard him respectfully. Her glare burned with anger, anger that wasn’t directed at Odin… anger directed at none other than Loki. “... or is it you who hides the mysteries that I should be asking about?”

Odin dropped his head, his position on the throne shifting as he became unable to hold the warrior’s gaze. He sat silently for a moment before touching the ground with Gungnir, and a coating of magic spread through the room in a translucent haze. Sif’s frown contorted into pure rage. That spell… the one he had cast so many times to keep them hidden, so that nobody would find them…

Until the room had been covered by his sorcery in its entirety, Loki did not stand from his throne. When he did, he surprised Sif by leaving the spear aside… and with a deep breath, the old man in his armor and cape, with that metallic patch over his eye, morphed into a young man of dark black hair, pale skin and leather clothing of black and green. He had closed his eyes as he lifted the transfiguration spell, and he almost expected to find Sif ramming his chest with her blades as soon as he opened them again. But she still stood in place, her eyes fixed upon him, her fury visible through her stance. She was clearly holding back the urge to attack him, or perhaps only to yell at him… but even though she wasn’t moving, there was no calm in her. Loki could have sworn he had never seen her this angry before.

“Sif…” he whispered, the sound of his voice the last straw Sif could take.

“How dared you…?” she grunted, her fists balled. “How dared you, Loki?!”

“Sif,” repeated Loki, but he knew there was nothing he could say to appease her.

“You vile, despicable LIAR!” she shouted, no longer holding back her anger. “What have you done?! Why did you lie about your death again?! Where is the All-Father?!”

“Sif, I haven’t damaged him,” muttered Loki, uneasy. “He has fallen into the Odin’s Sleep…”

“Oh, he has fallen into it, or perchance you forced him to it?!” yelled Sif. “There’s no end to your evil, is there?!”

“It was no evil, Sif!” grunted Loki. “He was old, frail, committing mistakes he wouldn’t have made before! My mother’s death only served to blind him further…”

“And this gives you the right to take his place and sit on his throne?!” shouted Sif. “Are you that desperate to prove yourself superior that you would even kill…!”

“I killed no one!” Loki yelled back. “Odin hasn’t died, let alone by my hand! My father will wake, and he will come to see the truth of my claim to the throne! When I was but a child he assured me I had been born to be king...!”

“A real king wouldn’t need to force himself into a throne to be one!” Sif replied “A real king wouldn’t steal Gungnir from its true wielder!”

“Then perhaps you believe he was right?!” asked Loki, growing angry. “Perhaps you truly believe that I was born to die?! That was the last he ever said to me before I took over his duties! Yet I have ruled over Asgard for days and no one has ever known it is me! If I am so unfit to rule, why hadn’t you known it was me from the start?! Why has nobody else realized that it is not the All-Father who seats this throne?!”

“It is of no matter whether we knew you sat on that throne or not…” grunted Sif. “Because all there is to this is that you LIED, Loki! You have spent your entire life lying! You may fit in your father’s place and nothing may seem amiss, but it does not mean you deserve to rule Asgard!”

“Perhaps I have spent my whole life lying because I have been lied to as well, for all this time,” said Loki, glowering. “From the moment I was brought into this wretched land I have been lied to! Lied by my father, by my mother, by my brother, by you…!”

“Me?! When did I ever lie to you?!” Sif seemed even more indignant than before at that accusation. What could he possibly be speaking of now?

“You have always chosen Thor over me!” Loki shouted, pacing in front of the throne. “You would say you would never do such a thing, and yet…!”

“I never chose Thor over you! Why can’t you understand that what I did was for the good of the realm?! Do you truly believe I should have allowed Thor to live on his days as a mortal in Midgard?!”

“Why should you have tried to make it otherwise?!” Loki retorted. “If he had been in Midgard all along, my mother might have survived! If he hadn’t brought his woman into Asgard when he did…!”

“You blame Thor for the wrongdoings he shouldn’t even be blamed for,” grunted Sif. “He was protecting her! Malekith was hunting for her, there was no place else for her to go…!”

“Yet it took us no time to get Malekith to obtain what he needed when we went to him! If all that concerned him was her safety, he could have finished this matter without spilling anyone’s blood, including my mother’s!”

“But who was the one who helped the Dark Elves from behind the safety of his cell?” asked Sif, at which Loki cringed. “Do not bother acting innocent! Wounded soldiers heard you tell them where to go!”

“To find my father! I knew not of what they truly searched for!”

“But they found Frigga!” yelled Sif. “And if you are to blame Thor, then perhaps you ought to blame yourself as well!”

“And you think I do not?!” Loki snapped. “You believe I am blind enough to realize that I only helped them to find my mother?! To kill her?!”

“It seems you are blind to your mistakes and rather interested in bringing everyone else’s to light, that’s what I believe,” said Sif, her frown growing stronger by the moment. “I never lied to you, Loki. If you weren’t as impervious to your own shortcomings…!”

“You lied, Sif, and you lied whether you care to admit it or not!” Loki spat. “You would always fill my mind with ridiculous fantasies, with hopes of a life along with you even when everything else around me would fail! I wanted nothing more than to live on, even if only behind my brother’s shadow, so long as I could have you! But as soon as you found an opening, you slipped away from me and…!”

“I did not slip away from anyone! And I did not do so in order to be with Thor, if that’s what your wicked mind has brought you to believe!” retorted Sif. “I did what had to be done, for the good of the realm, as a warrior always must! Even if you were the one I had to fight against, I’d do so with my head held high! And it was nobody’s fault but your own…!”

“What was nobody’s fault?! To have been born a Jotunn, is it?!” Loki shouted. “Did you know already? Were you aware of the fact that it had been a Frost Giant with whom you had spent all those years?!”

“I knew nothing of your true heritage until Thor spoke about it,” said Sif, gritting her teeth. “But that is not what I meant. If you had only bothered explaining what you had discovered in Jotunheim…! If you had told me the truth from the start, Loki, perhaps none of this would have happened! You said you didn’t care for the throne, and yet…!”

“I never did!” said Loki. “You believe I jumped at the chance of taking my father’s place when he fell into his slumber two years ago?! Of course I did not! My mother told me I had to take over Asgard now, with my father in Odin’s Sleep and my brother banished there was nobody other than me for the job!”

“So you did not want it, but then you became attached to it?! So attached that you grew to love the feeling of ruling over others, was it?! You went into Midgard and sought to submit mortals to your will, Loki! Is that something that was forced upon you as well?! Did you do it because your mother asked?!”

“Do not mock me…” whispered Loki, closing his eyes.

“Then why, Loki?!” Sif asked. “Why did you do it?! If you were truly uncorrupted, if you did not lie when you said you did not care for the throne, why do you care for it now?!”

“Because of revenge!” Loki shouted at last, swinging a hand about himself as he spoke the last word. “I was lied to by my father, by Thor, by everyone! As I fell into the void, all I wanted was to make them feel the anger, the pain I had endured! Why did I have to suffer, while they stood in Asgard’s golden halls, proud and powerful, as heroes?! They had ruined everything I had ever cared about… all I had ever wished for was gone, Sif! What was there for me to live for other than revenge?! I attacked Midgard in order to spite Thor! He would rule over Asgard one day, then perhaps I ought to rule over Midgard and enslave his petty woman in order to steal her from him, just as he stole you from…!”

“Thor never stole me, you fool!” Sif shouted. “Do you truly believe someone else could have ever convinced me to do anything if I did not want to do so?! Did you ever understand the smallest thing about me, Loki?!”

“You are not who you used to be, Sif,” muttered Loki.

“For that matter, neither are you,” retorted Sif. “I can barely recognize you anymore, Loki.”

“Perhaps you cannot because at last you see the true Loki,” he said, staring down at her with anger. “Whoever it is you thought you knew is nothing but a memory, a long gone memory. This is the man within the monster! And he is but another monster!”

“It… it would truly seem like it,” said Sif, gritting her teeth and looking at Loki in disbelief. “You knew me, Loki. In truth, I… I have not changed as you believe I have.”

“Yes, you have,” said Loki, spitefully. “The Sif I knew would have likely slain me by now, truly. What stays your hand, Lady Sif? Pity? Disappointment? Fear?”

“Hope,” replied Sif, startling Loki. “But it truly is futile. You speak truly when you say the man I knew no longer exists… he does not. He is but a shadow now. And who are you now, Loki? Truly, only an agent of revenge? Is that all?”

“What else is there for me, Sif?” asked Loki. “What do you want from me?!”

“I want…” said Sif, stopping in her tracks as she realized she didn’t know the answer to that question.

“You want the Jotunn to step down from the throne, is it?” asked Loki. “The throne has always seemed to matter more to you than I ever did… and then you accuse me of being the one who cares too much for it. Yet the man who sits on it is your sole concern, is it not?”

“The man who had taken his seat on it, not knowing what weight he was carrying on his shoulders, is my concern,” grunted Sif. “If you truly will accuse me of wanting the throne, then pray tell, why would I have chosen to be with you?! Thor was the heir! If all I cared for was to see him take over his father’s role…!”

“You were, likely, just distracting me,” said Loki, a hint of madness in the smile on his face. “Keeping me far from the throne with words of a better life for the two of us, when in truth…”

“How… how dare you?” said Sif, her eyes widening.

“You claim not to be as cruel as the rest of them, but you are only worse!" Loki barked. "You feign to care, to truly wish for the best for me, and yet…!”

“You keep saying that, you fool…” said Sif, lowering her head and placing a hand in her forehead. Were those tears of anger he could see glistening in her eyes? “You truly think I care if you are a Jotunn or not?! Do you really think that matters to me in the slightest?!”

“It… it mattered to everyone. It mattered to me,” Loki replied, frowning in confusion.

“It did not matter to anyone half as much as it did to you!” shouted Sif. “Frigga never cared if you were a Jotunn or not! And you still call her mother even now…!”

“She did not discard me and turn her back on me when I was brought here, did she? She did not come to my cell to return the one thing she had left of me! She visited me regularly, even if only through magical means! But you?! You only bothered seeing me once, and it was only…!”

“Because it was too painful, that’s why!” shouted Sif. “Do you think I could look you in the eye after everything you had done and beg you to apologize when I knew you wouldn’t?! You do not regret anything you did! You never have, and you never will! In your eyes, it is everyone else who has wronged you! You are never to blame!”

“I already said that was not…!”

“You cannot understand that I could not forgive you if you craved no forgiveness!” shouted Sif. “And yet I couldn’t change the way I felt towards you, you wretched fool…”

“Your feelings are my fault as well?” asked Loki, smiling in disbelief. “The hatred, the anger…”

“Yes, they are!” Sif replied, “I never meant to hate you! I never meant to think of you as a traitor! I never meant to stand on the other side of that cell, returning a dagger I wished I could have held onto forevermore! But why would I bother caring about you in any way, Loki, when all you have ever concerned yourself with is YOU?”

Loki stumbled at those words. She was saying he was selfish…? She was invalidating what he felt towards her?!

“This new Loki you speak of… the true Loki, you said?” Sif stared at him with eyes that could have almost held pity. But soon enough it turned into frustration. “It is but a man who cares for nothing but himself. You have never wanted the future I promised to you, you never truly cared for anyone's happiness but your own. Anyone else could have spoken the same words, and it would have made no difference. So long as you had what you wanted… did it even matter who it was with?”

“How dare you judge me like this, Sif, when you…? You chose Thor over me because it was the easier way,” grunted Loki.

“How many times will you say the same thing?” asked Sif, growing exasperated. “I chose what I had to choose! Bugger my heart, the pain I felt when I thought you had died! I chose the hardest way, Loki! I chose to fulfill my duty, to be true to what I knew was right, even if it meant forsaking you!”

“It doesn’t sound like you had too hard a time making that decision,” said Loki, glaring at her. “Pain, you say? Why would you feel any pain? You must have been so revolted to know what I truly was that forgetting about me was the best thing you could do. Your reputation as Asgard’s shield maiden would crumble if it were known that you had ever been with the Frost Giant, the traitor, Laufey’s son…”

“Loki…” said Sif, staring at him in disbelief as she shook her head. “Oh, Loki… you truly are more of a fool than I took you for. You truly…”

“Where have I misread you, then, Sif?” growled Loki. “Are you going to claim I am wrong now?”

“Yes, you are! Truly, after all these years, you know nothing about me, nothing at all!” she declared, and now he could see the tears more clearly. “Do you truly think that it mattered to me that you were a Frost Giant or not? Do you honestly believe that was of any importance to me?!”

“You returned the dagger! You wanted no more to do with me because…!”

“Because you had broken my heart, you fool, and you never even stopped to think about it!” yelled Sif, as the tears began rolling down her cheeks. “A Frost Giant, a mortal, an asgardian… do you truly believe I cared? Laufey’s son or Odin’s son… You could have been a serving page for all I cared! Do you honestly think it would have made me love you any less?!”

Loki’s eyes widened at her declaration. Sif wasn’t one to lie… she never lied, especially not to him. So what she was saying now… it could only be the truth. Then… where had he gone wrong? What did he misunderstand?

“But you…” said Sif, struggling to speak as the sobs shook her shoulders. “You did not care… you never spoke, you kept everything to yourself, you… you said nothing when we returned from Jotunheim… you said things, and then proved them to be otherwise when you were in front of the Warriors Three, and when we faced you in the throne… you refused to bring Thor back no matter how I asked, and you would just sit there, looking down on us as if we were scum in your eyes… as if you truly thought there was no more to us now that you were king. And I went against your orders, proving I would not submit to you if you would be as unjust as you were, showing you that you had not seen the last of me… and then it was I who had seen the last of you…”

Loki’s fury vanished slowly as he watched her cry. What was he supposed to say now? What did she possibly mean…?

“You were dead, Loki… you were dead,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “And I had to celebrate feasts along with the others while my heart would not stop mourning you! I could not… I could not stop thinking of you, no matter what I did! Every night I spent without you was a punishment, a reminder of your demise! I… I wanted to turn back time and do everything differently, if it would bring you back to me… but it was no use, Loki… because when my pleas were answered, it was not you they brought… it was the real Loki, is it not? It was not the man I loved…”

“Sif…” he said again, taking a step down from the throne as he lifted a hand towards her. She seemed not to notice.

“I needed to stop mourning you already, Loki… I needed to rid myself of your enchantments, the ones you had cast upon me without sorcery. I gave the dagger back… because I hoped it would make it end, I hoped we would be able to move past what we had been… but I couldn’t. I tried, but I couldn’t. Every day I told myself to tie my hair… but you had liked it down, hadn’t you? You had asked me to keep it that way during Thor’s coronation… and so every day I told myself I would do it on the next… and the next… and the next…”

Then it was truly because of him… it had really been about him. How had he ever deserved the woman in front of him…? How had he ever earned her love, when all he had ever done was hurt her?

“When you were brought back, I wanted to stop loving you… I kept reminding myself of the deeds you had done while in Midgard,” said Sif. “And I hated myself when I realized that nothing you ever did would be enough to stop me from loving you… nothing would change, ever. And then… then you died again, and this time you had died defending Thor, defending Asgard. And I genuinely thought you had returned to us… that in that last moment, you had become the man I had loved once again… and I regretted having judged you as I had. You had done the right thing… you had even died fighting for the realms' safety… and that thought crushed me. I felt so shameful for having forsaken you when I did… but at least, I was relieved that you hadn’t been as lost as I had thought. If only you hadn’t died…”

“But I didn’t…” said Loki.

“But not like this, Loki,” said Sif, lifting her head to regard him. She stared at him through the tears, and she shook her head. “Not… not like this, Loki. Not as an usurper… you had died a warrior’s death, and you returned just to… just to fulfill your revenge? Why? W-why, when you had finally found something better to live for than the revenge that drove you all along…?”

“I didn’t…” said Loki, frowning. Something better? Did she mean allying himself with Thor, joining forces with him in order to keep the realms safe? Did she think this was a better fate than revenge? Did she believe a single mission could change everything…? Given the way she cried, she had thought so. But she no longer did.

“You have died on me twice, Loki,” said Sif, shaking her head. “I have fallen prey to your schemes too many times… only to be hurt again and again. I can’t let it happen anymore… You… you’re not even sorry, you are only…”

Loki strode the way down to where Sif stood without knowing what drove him. Her eyes were closed as she tried to stop the tears from slipping down her face, but it seemed a hopeless endeavor.

“You…” Sif still said when he reached her, unable to articulate another word.

Loki’s left hand went to the nape of her neck before she could even register what was happening. His other hand encircled her waist and he brought her close to him, pressing his lips to hers softly but with certainty.

Sif was taken by surprise by his move, and she didn’t know how to counter him. In the battlefield, she knew all about how to respond to every possible threat posed to her… but this? This was an entirely different kind of battle, and it was one she would almost always lose against him, without fail.

How many nights had she laid awake, wishing she could feel those lips against hers, his breath mixing with hers…? How many times had she cried, knowing she had lost him forever…? He could never return to her, and he never would even if he had a chance. She had given back that dagger. She had never said she loved him. He had turned into a man driven by nothing but hatred… how would he ever even wish to kiss her anew? All there was left in him was lust for revenge…

But here he was, kissing her as he had so many times before. And it felt right, even though part of her wished she could shove him away and tell him he couldn’t amend this with a mere kiss. But it wasn’t a mere kiss… it was so much more than that. It came from the real Loki… from the man she believed beyond saving. And despite all the nonsense he had just spouted, the gentleness of the kiss sought to prove her just how much he regretted having caused her the anguish she had endured. If he hated his brother, or his father, or even all of Asgard… then at least it would seem he did not hate her.

Loki moved away, still holding her head in place as he pressed his forehead against hers. Should he apologize…? Should he beg for her forgiveness? Should he leave her now, because she wanted no more to do with him? She was right. He was beyond saving, he was selfish… he was unworthy of her. He had broken her heart. She deserved better, she only deserved better… He did not believe there could ever be a man who would be worthy of her, but if someone was definitely out of the contest by now, it was him…

Yet her hand reached up towards his cheek, taking him by surprise. Sif could hardly see him through the tears that clouded her eyes, but even though she knew this was wrong in all accounts, she couldn’t find the strength to push him away. How could she, if this was what she had longed for during the past years?

Loki couldn’t move as her fingers caressed his face gently, as if showing him that she wouldn’t push him away. Even after all she had said… she didn’t want him to leave her?

“Loki…” she whispered, weakly. How had she become so fragile in a matter of seconds? She would hate herself for it eventually, no doubt, but right now she was unable to think properly. The world around her had as good as disappeared, the consequences of her current actions completely forgotten… even her constant reminder of how reckless she was by returning to Loki’s arms had faded away into the background. None of it mattered right now. Surely it would matter again later… but right here, right now, all she could do was give in.

When she said his name with such longing, Loki closed his eyes again and kissed her once more, with more urgency this time around. Sif responded now, even though she seemed too weak to enter the struggle they would usually hold in order to establish dominance. She didn’t care for dominance today, though. Her hands slid up towards his head, and she took his long locks of hair between her fingers. His embrace intensified, bringing her as close to him as he could for the moment, as if he feared that she could vanish if he dared release her from his grip.

Her tears did not stop, if anything they would only continue dropping down her cheeks as she held him tightly in place. It had only been two years since they had last kissed, and such a time span usually meant nothing to asgardians… but to Sif it had almost been an eternity. She had needed his touch even more than she ever knew. It was almost unbelievable that this was truly happening… but it was. And even though she couldn’t bring herself to stop crying, she wouldn’t let any of this to go to waste. Every instant was precious.

It was Sif who opened her mouth and allowed him to reach out to her, joining them together even more closely now as their tongues met once again. Sif almost felt inexperienced, as if it were the first time she had allowed Loki to kiss her so deeply, but he knew just what he was doing. Perhaps she had almost forgotten his taste, but he hadn’t forgotten just what to do to make her gasp and clutch him even harder, begging him wordlessly not to stop.

Loki caressed her face gently, cupping her cheek as he sought to soothe Sif somehow, but he could tell she was still crying. There was no reason for her to cry anymore… she had longed for him, grieved for him and cried for him, and he was back with her once again. And he wouldn’t leave her. Never again.

Because, despite it all, Sif had been the only one not to lie. She had pulled away from him to protect herself… just as he often pulled away from everyone else for the same purpose. The pain had been unbearable while they were apart… but they were together again now. The pain could disappear by now. Whatever obstacle came forth, they could face it together… couldn’t they?

Sif pulled away shortly, desperate for air after such a long kiss. Loki’s lips didn’t part from her, and they moved down through her face, aiming at reaching her neck. Sif gritted her teeth and held him in place, trying to keep herself from sobbing now. Her left arm encircled his shoulders, asking him not to falter, not to waver…

“I… I am so sorry, Sif…” Loki whispered against her skin, kissing her afterwards. When had he last apologized to anyone while meaning it? He couldn’t remember…

Sif was startled by the apology, and she didn’t know what he was apologizing for. Was it for kissing her…? She truly wished it wasn’t. Was it for all the anguish she had sustained because of him? Nonetheless… there was remorse in Loki. He actually regretted something… he wasn’t as proud of his actions as he used to claim he was.

“I didn’t mean… I never wanted to…” he said, holding her face in his hands as he looked at her, in hopes not to break down just as she had. But Sif shook her head, unwilling to hear more. She had wanted to stop crying, but those words would only weaken her.

“Loki… please…” she said, looking at him in despair.

Loki didn’t know for certain what she was asking for, but the way she wept brought him to kiss her anew. He wanted to kiss all her tears away, from here on and forever. He had no idea how to stop them, truly, but so long as she didn’t push him off her, he wouldn’t take his kisses to be unwanted. And given the fact that Sif’s lips brushed against his just as desperately as his did on hers, then it was likely he was taking the right approach with this…

But even though the Throne Room was protected, and the guards were gone, Loki couldn’t feel safe. Anyone who tried to enter the room might sense the magic coating keeping them secluded from the rest of the world. Odin performed no magic… not of this manner, at least. The consequences of being caught here, of all places, could be catastrophic. He couldn’t be found. He was dead, and Odin still ruled Asgard… 

So, in another magical display, after picking her up and holding her in his arms, Loki surrounded them both in his seidr and transported them to his old bedroom. Sif hardly noticed they had changed locations. Loki brought his spells with him, guessing that nobody would consider it odd that his sorcery would be cast over this chamber to protect whatever secrets he could hide in his room. A proper spell could last for over two years. It would be believable enough, if someone dared try to find them.

Sif pulled away and looked around herself in confusion for a moment, holding onto Loki as if the change of scenery had taken away the ground on which she stood. Loki embraced her tightly and leaned down to kiss her anew, and even though Sif was suddenly more aware of their surroundings that she had been, she surrendered to him again. They both felt at far more ease than before upon being secluded in the room where most their escapades had taken place. 

Loki’s hands held her face so gently, as though prizing her completely. It was something she had always loved about Loki… he would hold her as though she were the only woman he knew, the only woman he would ever care for. She had only said those vicious words about him previously out of spite… she knew Loki actually wouldn’t have taken any other woman's offers just as he had taken hers. Ever since they were children, the only one he had ever looked at had been Sif.

She pressed her body against his, not bothered by the fact that he had brought her to his room like this. She could have been indignant, even, considering that Loki might have only been trying to bed her… but what if he did? She wanted him so badly it didn’t bother her right now. She craved him desperately, she had missed him so much she feared her heart would fail her, lost in loneliness and grief over how badly she wished he were with her. And he finally was. How was she supposed to push him away when she needed him so?

Loki’s arms surrounded her now, but his touch was so chaste it took only a moment for Sif to realize he was unwilling to take anything too far in fear of upsetting her. How thoughtful of him… he had often been thoughtful with her, before everything took a turn to the worse.

The thought only served to bring more tears to her eyes. Despite all he had said, and everything she had thought, the man she remembered was still there. Loki really had changed, but he wasn’t truly gone. It was still him. The same shy boy she had met so long ago, the aloof teenager, the marvelous lover… it was him, without a doubt.

Her kiss turned fiercer when she finally understood it was him in more than just his body. Loki’s hand stretched over the small of her back as he kissed her deeply once more, following her lead most willingly. A few more tears rolled down her cheeks as her hand moved down to his chest, caressing him softly before tugging at his clothing.

Loki was surprised when she sought to unbuckle his cloak. Did she really want this? He had thought she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and her kisses were already more than he expected to obtain… but it seemed she had longed for their closeness just as badly as he had after those two years of having lost his way, of believing he had nothing to live for other than revenge.

He had thought he had lost everything: his family, his friends, his home… everything. And it seemed he had: he had no father anymore, Odin denied him and Laufey was dead. His mother had died as well. His brother no longer trusted him, and if he knew Loki still lived he would most certainly seek to lock him up anew, if not kill him altogether. And he had been certain he had lost Sif as well… he had been certain there was nothing left for him in Asgard. And he had been wrong.

Perhaps his family and friends were gone, perhaps he truly had no place left in Asgard… but Sif still lingered. And she could be his family now. She could be his home… she already made him feel as though he belonged with her, despite all the mistakes he had made. He hadn’t felt as if he belonged anywhere in over two years. Sif was truly the light he had to follow, his one chance at regaining the life he had thought was impossible for him. Bugger the throne, the Infinity Stones, the Nine Realms, his father, his revenge… bugger everything. Sif was all he wanted, all he needed.

His cape fell to the ground softly, and Sif’s hands fell back to his chest as she sought to rid him of his leathers. Loki didn’t stop kissing her, withdrawing only shortly to allow her to regain her breath before assaulting her mouth with his own again. His heart raced as her hands caressed him… it was so hard to believe this was truly happening, that it was Sif whom he held so closely. And the thought of what she was asking of him without speaking…

He felt like a fool when his hands shivered when he thought of relieving the warrior from her armor. He had done this same feat time over and time again… why was he nervous now? It had only been two years… two years that had felt like an eternity without her by his side, of course. He had loved Sif for centuries, and two years deprived of her was longer than he dared stand. Being imprisoned, beaten by a burly green monster or disregarded by his own father were no punishments next to spending such a long time away from Sif. Even if it hadn’t been that long… every moment they were apart was too long to bear. And he needed to make up for all the lost time. He had to do it now, tonight… he had to show her just how much he loved her still, how he had loved her ever since they had first met.

Because she had given up to him by now, it seemed… but how would she feel once it was over? Would she still want him as badly as she did now? Would she change her mind, perhaps? It was a terrifying thought, very similar to the ones he had as a teenager when she had first kissed him. Everything had been up to the quality his response… if he had faltered, their relationship would have been ruined. He had found himself driven to show her he could please her, that he loved her like nobody else could. And just now he had to prove the same to her, once again. She had to know what he truly felt, that he needed nothing more than her… he would even wake Odin if needed, face his wrath and all its consequences, so long as he knew Sif would understand he loved her still. Chances were he could be banished into another realm, much like it had been with Thor…

But now he actually believed she would come look for him. She had grieved for him as she had, and she had told him she loved him… so if she had followed Thor, she surely would come for him as well. He knew it. They wouldn’t be apart anymore. They belonged together.

His hands, shivering as they were, relieved her of her armor quickly, and he kissed her again as soon as he was done with it. It clattered when it fell to the floor, but Sif wasn’t bothered by the noise and neither was Loki.

His torso was bare before Sif sooner than Loki had expected, but it hadn’t been fast enough for her. Her fingers raked his skin as if his naked body had never been exposed to her before. She pulled away from his mouth in order to kiss his neck, startling him as she did. She wasn't crying anymore, it seemed… that relieved him beyond belief. He smiled as she reclaimed his body eagerly, pleased beyond compare to find herself before him again in this manner. Loki’s hands went to her remaining clothes, doing his best to rid her of them without interrupting her, yet Sif pulled away and helped him unlace her robes, apparently as eager to have him naked before her as she was to be undressed as well.

Relieving each other of their garments took more time than they wished to spend on this, but soon enough they were kissing hungrily again, this time with their bodies pressed together in full contact.

Loki surrounded her with his arms and lifted her gently, walking the few steps towards the mattress and laying her down over it carefully. It was most unlike Sif to be so compliant with his gentle movements, she would always try to goad him into growing harsher on her, but he would never cease to treat her as the Lady he would always remind her that she was. Sif would always roll her eyes at that, but she would go with whatever Loki did. He never failed to please her, after all.

And he was determined not to fail today, most certainly. His lips treaded down through her body, and she threw her head back in bliss as he stopped at her breasts, seeking to rouse her in the ways he knew she enjoyed. He had come to know her body so well after all this time… But even if he had forgotten how to please her, it seemed Sif would lead him anyways. Her hands held him in place, begging him not to stop yet again. And he didn’t stop, his lips never left her skin… but he moved downwards slowly, his goal clear.

Sif seemed to hesitate for a moment, perhaps afraid she would be unable to withstand what she knew she would experience now. As he caressed her legs gently with both his hands and lips, Sif could only shiver in anticipation. It promised to be so much more than it had been in the past, probably because of the two years they had spent apart. Everything seemed new, even though it was completely familiar. It was an odd sensation…

Loki parted her legs gently, kissing her inner thighs as he moved slowly but surely towards her core. Sif didn’t know she had been holding her breath until she released it brusquely upon his first assault. The moan that escaped her throat was so loud she even felt flustered about it for a moment, but as he continued with his gentle, but efficient, motions, she forgot all about any potential embarrassment. He was driving her to the edge so quickly… but after waiting for him for two long years, was it any surprise she was so prone to reach her release?

Loki’s slow and gentle motions intensified as he heard Sif’s response to his actions. Her heels dug into the mattress, and her hands went back to his dark hair to force him to continue. His every movement was just as it had to be, in the very spot he needed to touch in order to obtain the best reactions from her… he knew her body even better than she did, Sif was certain. And he moved so expertly; that tongue of his had always been skilled, and it hadn’t dulled at all after all this time.

Sif’s breath came in gasps intertwined with moans as she came closer to her release. It brought a smile to Loki’s face to hear her whisper his name repeatedly, desperate for him to bring her to those places he had always been able to take her to. And it had only ever been him. It only ever would be him. She needed nobody else, and most certainly wanted nobody else. 

She forgot all forms of bashfulness when she hit the highest stage, screaming and pushing Loki’s face closer to her, even. He wouldn’t stop moving, determined to bring her as far as he could this time around. No more teasing, no point in toying with her patience today. He had to prove himself, to show her he meant to make everything up to her, starting by all the lonely nights they had hardly been able to put up with. And so he didn’t stop, no matter how desperate her screams became, no matter how she pulled at his hair. She needed more, and that much they both knew. And even though she had accused him of being selfish, he wouldn’t be when it came to her. He would give her everything she wanted, without question. She deserved as much.

And despite Loki’s marvelous work, Sif felt the moment had ended too fast. Rising that high was so exhilarating… better than being awarded titles or besting her enemies in battle. Nothing compared to what Loki made her feel.

Loki pulled away, gasping for breath between her legs. Sif’s eyes were closed as she tried to regain her center, but her body burned with that fire she loved so much, the fire only Loki could set on her skin.

“Sif…” Loki sighed, moving on the bed so that he would tower over her. Her hands climbed over his arms until she found his face. She didn’t know what he would say now, but she would truly rather it wait until it was over. And she didn’t want it to be over, ever.

“Loki,” she whispered, pushing him down on her gently in order to embrace him. Loki’s face went to her neck, and he kissed her sensitive skin gently as her legs surrounded his hips.

Loki caressed her body gently with his hands before pulling away again, his gaze taking in the sight before him. He had basked in Sif’s body so many times… but it would never cease to amaze him. The body he knew so well was before him once more…

Sif’s hand went to the nape of his neck, as she breathed heavily. Loki pulled her body up softly, making her come to a sitting position. She kissed him again as he moved towards the center of the bed, bringing her with him as he did so. He crossed his legs and pulled her up towards him, and her body trembled as she slid into his arms again. Her knees went to either side of him as her hands held his head between her breasts, just a moment before moving down on him and allowing herself to be filled by his length for the first time in forever.

Loki groaned and embraced Sif tightly as he was engulfed by her. Oh, just as he remembered it… better, even. She looked down at him once he was as deep as he could be, and Loki caressed her face before kissing her again. His free hand went to her buttocks, holding her in place so that she would move swiftly on him when she did. Her legs crossed behind him, and her hands went to his chest as she heaved on him, trying to hold her own in the midst of such pleasure. She would always attempt to obtain dominance, and whenever she had a chance she would do a splendid job at leading… but today she was so broken, so desperate for him that she felt she lacked the strength to pull through the motions properly.

If she had been unable to hold her own back in the day, Loki would have mocked her to no end. But today he seemed to understand… he didn’t laugh at her, he only looked at her with his deep eyes, moving his hips slowly from beneath her. Sif moaned as he did, and she kissed him thankfully for taking over even though he wasn’t supposed to be in control. Loki’s hands caressed her sides and back as he moved, setting fire to her skin again. Sif would kiss him and try her hardest not to scream as the pleasure became more than she could take. He held her so closely, so tightly, his lips finding hers or perhaps her neck, or even her chest… he was taking over her every sense, unleashing the pleasure she had craved so desperately.

She knew she would reach her peak again shortly, and she was thoroughly impressed by how he had endured all along. He was at a loss for breath, much like she was… he surely wouldn’t last much longer…

He took her in his arms, surprising her, and splayed her over the bed while still keeping their bodies linked together, his face contorted in a grimace as he tried to keep himself from reaching his climax for now. It couldn’t end so fast… he couldn’t let it. It had to last, he didn’t know how much longer could his body endure, but for as long as it was possible, he would make every second count…

Sif’s moans grew more intense now that Loki had reclaimed full control, thrusting into her powerfully as his desire took hold over him. Sif’s arms went around him and she kissed him anew, bringing her moans into his mouth again as his tongue toyed weakly with hers. Straddling her was taking its toll on him, truly…

His body shivered, both because of the excitement and the immense efforts he was undergoing to keep himself in check. Sif’s nails dug into his back as she threw her head back with another scream, and her walls contracted around him as she found her release once more. Loki gritted his teeth and gasped as he followed suit, finally allowing himself to find his own orgasm as he emptied himself within her. He thrust into her a few more times as she kissed him, and he collapsed on top of her once he had given her his everything in this moment.

Sif caressed his face gently once he rolled off her. The way she stared at him… even back in their golden days she wouldn’t have looked at him like this. She would just smile, as if in camaraderie… but now there was such pure emotion in her eyes that Loki couldn’t help but dive into her mouth once more with his own.

He pulled her closer, embracing her tightly and even wrapping his legs around hers. Sif’s head came to rest in his chest, and she could hear his heart pounding heavily as he still panted, regaining his breath. Sif only snuggled closer and hugged him tightly, relieved by the closeness between them. She couldn’t pull away… she wouldn’t. Not now, at the very least. For now, she needed to stay beside him. She needed his warmth, his embrace, his love…

And she would have them, for certain. Loki’s lips went to the top of her head and he closed his eyes, holding her closely and completely certain that he wouldn’t let her go. After all these years of frustrations, disappointment, anger and revenge… Loki had finally found peace, at long last, and he would not make the mistake of letting it go again.

Yet the questions lingered in the air, as the two of them relaxed into an easy sleep: would this mark a new beginning, or would Sif's mind change once she woke in his arms? Would her rational mind take over again, once her emotions weren't so high? Could this endure the test of time, or was it merely one last taste of what they both had missed but could not indulge in ever again...?


End file.
